Tag: #mental health

English articles

Everything Everywhere all at once

experiencetoday

I was never interested in sci-fiction drama. The movie “Everything Everywhere all at once” is a surprise exception. I felt dizzy sometimes watching the scenes jumping around different universes, but I found it the director meant to tell us to be kind, to be brave, and to love each other. 

To find peace in this complex and chaotic world, it is tiresome to keep fighting and create emotional conflicts.  

Because of the information explosion, our life had never been that busy. Many of us tried to keep track of the internet updates, gossip, 24/7 work life, family life and personal issues. Having a part-time job or a side interest while studying is a must as young people want to start the race early. It is so important to obtain as many skill sets and experience right before your 20s. Isn’t it university life should be fun and carefree? Not anymore.   

In a critique written by the LA Times, it quoted the director Kwan stating, “The internet had started to create the alternate universes. ” The movie was part of a product of the “contradictions and emotional whiplash” of being very online at the time. 

There was a time when I felt like I could keep up the speed Internet expanded. A professor told me, “Just say I don’t know, and I am only focused on my strength and interest area.” 

Yes, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you do not know certain things. We could call ourselves “Master of the Universe” 20 years ago when information was confined to newspapers and books. Not anymore. Maybe our strength, nowadays, is to learn how to ask and where to seek the information that we need, instead of adding all useless information in our head. 

To avoid information overload, I feel alright not to keep track of all the news, especially bad news. It is smarter to filter and digest useful information, make connections and take part in activities that are meaningful to me.   

Life is too short to get upset when you feel bad about not knowing the latest gossip or Netflix movies.  I stopped joining the information race but became focused and open to new ideas and creative thoughts.

Chinese articles

工作的心理學

experiencetoday

人在高處，日子久了，如果公司的發展平平而沒有新添服務，員工的工作長期如此，會變得機械式，或許工作會失去心中的那團火，相對的技能也只能靠自我增值而提升。至於高層則可能只顧著生意，沒有留住為公司長期服務員工的心，因為新入職的員工薪金往往比較低，他們只想不斷降低成本而持續收益平衡。部分高層只會為自己的利益著想，從人事和福利的更改著手，如增加自己級別的年假和保險的福利保障，令自己獲益，一眾員工看在眼中，自然不是味兒。

還記得，疫情時，一間大型醫院，高層自動減薪，與員工共渡時艱。一些事故發生，也會奮力站起來，站在員工的觀點發聲。沒有氣量的管理層或者沒有這份瀟灑和膽量。畢竟員工是公司的重要資產。高層用人也要公私分明，若要請家人，也應利用合理而公平的渠道，不要令其他員工有感不公。

現在工種闊了，工作模式多了。年輕人選擇工作，不妨不要心急，除了以個人興趣、公司文化和工作的職責出發外，我個人認為公司的發展和前景乃十分重要。一天工作八至十小時，公司的環境、同事和上司是否合得來、互相支持，實在重要，當中，如果有學習的地方和能累積合乎自己意願的經驗，就必然會加分。

有家庭的人士或會著眼於金錢，有一定的妥協，放棄興趣，接受一份未必是理想的工作，也不管高層和上司如何，默默接受，若上司不太支持自己，長此下去，其實對身心健康無形中造成壓力。不過轉化心態後，若視之為一份好工，就好像問題消失了，畢竟他們以家庭為先，希望養活子女，為下一代帶來穩定和富足的生活。

找新工作期間，曾遇到一位強勢的女士跟我說，做溝通行業，24小時都念掛著工作，一些人可能可以停下來，但我不可以。首先，我對她的無禮，十分反感，不能想著每天要跟著這樣不重視別人才能的上司共事。與此同時，這亦令我回想起美國知名的心理學家Adam Grant說過：「我們熱愛工作，也毋須讓工作完全佔據我們生活。」

我們生活中有不同的崗位，人生不應只有工作，子女、父母、自己的愛好和休息都是如此重要。把時間劃分不同區間，也不代表我們對工作沒有熱誠。其實平衡的生活會為工作注入動力和靈感，令身心得以休息，避免過勞。 

English articles

Going back in time: Press Play

experiencetoday

Going back in time creates a million storylines, including love interactions between couples. In the movie Lake House, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock built an incredibly deep connection through the exchange of letters, despite the fact that they lived in different years.

The Time Traveller’s Wife challenged a couple in which the husband randomly travelled through time without control. Their love life was unconventional. The husband missed important occasions, and the wife was frustrated sometimes. They met each other in different eras and appreciated each other’s beauty. There was a perfect man, but he was not always around.

Can we change our fate by going back in time? The science fiction romantic film Press Play talks about the love story of a cute young couple. They were set up by the young man’s stepsister and met in a record store where there was a wall of unwanted cassettes. People created their own cassettes with a collection of songs in the old days, usually the songs we heard on the radio. 

I was earnestly waiting for my favourite songs and then pressing the record button when I was young. It took a few weeks to make a mixtape. But the tape gave me great joy. 

The couple created their own mixtape by recording the songs they listened to together and what they loved to celebrate. Unfortunately, the young man was killed by a car, leaving the girl with a broken heart.

A few years later, the record store’s owner gave the girl the mixtape, and she realised once she pressed play, she was transported back on her date briefly with her love, whom she could still not forget. She tried to save him several times. He just died in different ways. Even the owner persuaded her to resolve with such ideas and just enjoyed seeing her “boyfriend” again.

After a few attempts, her “boyfriend” gave up the idea of trying to escape the next death incident. Why? 

We do not want to let go of some fond memories that keep our hearts warm and make us feel great love. We live for the pleasant moments. Love, drive, joy and objectives keep us alive.  

For the last song she pressed play, the girl decided not to meet the guy at all. Can he be saved this time?

Chinese articles

找一個沒有電子裝置的空間

experiencetoday

為何跟朋友閒談、聊天，總是精力多一點? 身體的構造很奇妙。每當我沒有力氣的時候，朋友打電話或視頻聊天，就會忘記倦意。我留院時，姑娘跟我問診，我也不知道為何會清醒了不少，剛剛我的眼睛還掙不開來。

溝通和分享是生活和生命中的重要一環。十多年前，facebook創辦人Mark Zuckerberg發現同學間迷上互相連繫的玩意，並將之轉化為一盤生意。當我碩士畢業時，一位同學問我有沒有facebook，之後我們便成為了網上朋友，在網上分享一些照片和感受等等，其他朋友還以為他是我的男友，真搞笑！

不過，社交平台始終是一盤生意，我們分享的相片、人和事都會在網上留痕，難以忘滅。

近日，英國BBC新聞網有一則有趣的新聞 — 《為何Netflix 得知自己是同性戀者？》一位記者自言曾有一位男朋友，拍拖多年，心裡沒有性取向的疑惑，拍拖亦不是她人生重要的事情。然而，隨著她收看Netflix的劇集越來越多時，Netflix便向她推薦不少關於同性戀者的劇集或涉及雙性戀角色的劇目。

是不是她看了一些相關的影片或劇集，所以才有這樣的推薦？不過與她年紀、背景相約和網上看劇歷史差不多的朋友，Netflix給予他們的推薦劇目卻不一樣。

Netflix 建議她看You Me Her的多元戀愛喜劇; 而Spotify亦顯示了相關性取向的Playlist 給她。

之後，她才認定自己是雙性戀者，但大數據和人工智能比她早多個月知道她原來也愛女生，她實在感到十分疑惑。手機、電腦和網上程式似乎一直在留意著我們，比你身邊的另一半更關切地聆聽和看著你。

最近，我愛上在家走走路，在游池游水或按摩池放鬆身體，沒有電子用品的時候，我可以專心一點，當然跟友人一起在水池放鬆就更好，身體也會多分泌多巴胺(dopamine)、腦內啡（endorphin)、催產素（oxytocin)和血清素(serotonin)。思緒有點紊亂時，在池中游游20至30分鐘後，內心在涼快的水温和持續深呼吸底下，會平靜下來。


有人告訴我，他們在忙碌的教書和研究生涯中，跑步時得到平靜安穩的感覺，有人愛獨自跑步； 有人愛與其他跑手一齊練習。原來，不按手機和沒有電子裝置的空間，平淡一點，也可以從平靜中找到快樂。

Chinese articles

過時．過節 Hong Kong Family

experiencetoday

得知《過時．過節》這套電影一段日子，但沒有特別的衝動去影院看，難得Netflix在港不再給多個用戶分享，我便把心一橫，在這個炎夏多留在家的日子，訂閱另一平台，打算在一個月內，不時看一看心儀的電影，輕鬆一下。

從前，每看一套電影，都帶來一些思考的機會。

《過時．過節》滿載許多情感。一般草根家庭都受著經濟和供樓的壓力、中國人壓在心底內不願溝通和表達情感的常態，以至社會一些規律給大家一個框框。

回想起，父母也不會拖手、不會在子女面前親吻，在我的眼中，這就是平常，有時他們口邊說要離婚，父親有一點裨氣，十歲、十多歲的我不知道如何反應，但當老父病了的時候，看到媽媽對父親的關心，小時候對他們關係的疑惑原來是有點傻。

我當然沒有像電影中的兒子一樣逃離家庭。跟父親分離8年真是一段很長的日子。沉默的父親轉行為著這個家，支持妻子為供樓的使命。子女也長大了，他竟然在做冬前一天提出離婚，為的是不想強迫自己達至妻子想他温柔和貼心的期望，亦希望兒子搬回家中，陪伴妻子。

另一邊廂的是，兒子從網上認識的一位年長網友，對孫兒的離去感到遺憾。表親的婆婆一直希望與移居遠方的兒子再次見面，命運就是這樣，當機票訂好了，竟然難逃命運的排，身體不適而離世，與媽媽緣慳一面。

中國人的拘謹而內斂的文化在電影中，顯露無遺。內心的壓抑固然可能會令自己錯過了理想，要收在內心的情感也可能會令父子再沒有機會復合。

幸好的是，婆婆的說話給人釋懷的感覺—做冬多少人一起吃飯，也沒關係。女兒告訴父親每天扮上班，萌生爭取到海外工作的夢想。兒子和父親終於嘗試溝通，不吃冬至飯，也沒所謂。

那麼做妻子的毛舜筠是否輸家？雖然當年她提供離婚，但最終供樓的願望完成，一家人似乎一個又一個地會離巢，連她幫忙做家務的一家人也打算移民。她內心的滋味很難受，但卻也難以宣之於口。

現代人情感的流露較直接，也許會變得過火，與電影中傳統的一家成正比。

故事未必說出香港單一的故事，在遠方的角落也有著不少這樣的家庭，家庭成員充斥著不少予盾，互相不了解的故事。

冀望大家多了解、多溝通，家庭生活多一點温馨。

English articles

The One You Love

experiencetoday

On a Sunday rainy morning, I watch the rain outside the window, listening to “The One You Love”. I had not been in such a situation, but I dated two guys during the pandemic – one online, and the other for a week or two in person. 

I ended up not choosing one of them at all. We are drifting apart. Sadly, we can’t be friends as I want to be.

The lyrics, on the other hand, tell the story of a guy who loves a girl who loves someone else.

Glen Frey’s song describes a better scenario – loving one but not loving you that much or loving one who truly loves you like a friend. 

One guy told me that we could try to develop a relationship but he curates his life more than listening. The other totally focuses on his career and cannot listen to my sad moments sometimes. 

It is disappointing to see two people preferring to pursue their dreams and focus on what they want to do. They are not the love of my life, so I can only be happy that they find what they are seeking.

They are not my ideal love but somehow, maybe a comfort during lonely days. I decided to play gate ball last Friday. I didn’t realise some of my classmates recognised me and I had a great time meeting them and playing games. 

Sports and exercise keep me motivated on dark days. Wild ecstasy and relaxation can be realised through visualisation, even by riding the subway. 

There is something wonderful about our brain and mind that makes our life or day a lot more meaningful. 

Nevertheless, those familiar songs bring back memories of the pop bands I enjoy the most.

I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you’re going through
When it comes to love, there’s no easy answer
Only you can say what you’re gonna do

I heard you on the phone, you took his number
Said you weren’t alone, but you’d call him soon
Isn’t he the guy, the guy who left you cryin’?
Isn’t he the one who made you blue?

When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin’ back to the one you love?
Someone’s gonna cry when they know they’ve lost you
Someone’s gonna thank the stars above

What you gonna say when he comes over?
There’s no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams, all the disappointment
Oh girl, what you gonna do?

Your heart keeps sayin’ it’s just not fair
But still, you gotta make up your mind

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin’ back to the one you love?
Someone’s gonna cry when they know they’ve lost you
Someone’s gonna thank the stars above

Chinese articles, Uncategorized

婆婆的一滴眼淚

experiencetoday

有一段時間，沒有參加探望長者的活動。香港的夏天炎熱，加上濕度高，平日多留在有冷氣的地方，故此在３３度高温下做運動、行山或長時間走路真的不容易，尤其是今年夏天，有數天高達３６度，美國和歐洲多國更升温至４０多度。熱力在石屎地上吸收後反射，蒸氣除除向上湧上，陣陣熱氣逼人，真的叫人有點難受。

幸好的是，那個周末早上下雨，還有一點點風，感恩的是義工們都可以在長者鄰舍中心等候，我和另一位義工到長者家探訪，長者都把冷氣開了，最後一位長者只在門前短暫碰面，這次探訪總算是個愉快的經驗。跟我一起探訪的義工是一位學生，初次嘗試探訪，我佩服她的勇氣。

與以前的探訪有別之處的是，我們代捐贈者把超市禮卷送給她們，更鼓勵她們與我們同行一同購物。

最終，有一位長者換了衣服，去惠康買東西，真的估計不到的是，她們都愛喝咖啡。一盒即沖咖排和兩條廚房紙，再加冷鮮魚，便100元。她在超巿遇見朋友，十分高興。

我也看到她眼裡有淚光，我的心感到十分温暖。我常常對長者說，多謝她們陪伴我。父母對每個人都十分重要，當他倆離開時，我的內心有時感到空虛，對父母的懷念仍在，有時看到長者高興地運動和聚在一起，我為他們感到高興，探訪他們更給我與老相伴的感覺，多了一份陪伴感覺，她們衷心和善意的感激，也給我一份暖意。

Chinese articles

瓶栽

experiencetoday

最後初級園藝班的一課很是有趣。由上一課到園圃觀賞開始，由於臨近買花的花園街，同學自然組合，一同去買植材、苔蘚、網紋草和玻璃瓶等。每人花費約60多元。我組決定不選多肉植物，我比較喜歡有草的植物，花不太適宜入瓶，因為需要多一點陽光。

我跟兩位同事一同購物，其實是為連同我四位同學實習堂作好準備。我平日座位旁邊的年輕輕男同學不見了，原來他患上心肌炎，幸好，他出院了，他帶著小玻璃樽上課。我們鼓勵他與另一位較年長的同學合作，給她一些植材的費用，大家一同創作，好好享受做手作的快樂時光。

上課時，我已有一定概念，就是有一頭小貓，在白色的小石路，周邊有紋網草陪伴著，相信貓會十分喜歡這個凉快的環境。

我的玻璃瓶約15寸，11寸高，比較矮身，植物不應高過瓶口，故此是有一定限制，但總算有一定的創作空間。

底層是一些排水性良好性的沙石。我們買了蛭石，內部氣孔多，保水性好、熱傳導能力較小。有同學用一些較大的石子作底層。老師建議很薄的一層便可以，大概2mm吧，但需視乎瓶的高度，然後放了約5-8cm的培養土，最好不要買有充足養份的土壤，但大部分現有的土壤添加了養份，盡量吧！

再用筷子幫助網紋草入土，但要分隔一點，我也向旁邊的同事取了一小撮草本綠草，不知道什麼名字，但矮細，點綴植物真是一流，加了苔蘚和白石後，感到有點不足，最後還是厚著面皮，向同事再拿一點苔蘚。老師自製的器具很有用，可以壓住泥土，讓植物較穩固。玻璃瓶背面位置，我加了一些蛭石，令白色不至於太耀眼。我十分喜歡這個作品。雖然老師較欣賞兩位男同學的作品，但許多同學也前來拍照。

有同學準備作一個海灘，回家後準備放一些藍色的裝飾石。

我們四個同學玩得開心極了，大家先來一張合照。這個瓶栽與別不同。花園街售賣的都是密麻麻，但我們所選的瓶子是各自選購，會讓植物多一點空間長大一點點。

冷天時，可以把瓶子蓋上，保温吧！

澆水從旁邊慢慢加水，排水層濕透便可以。

我真的希望他可以陪伴我。不過，現在學會了，也可以隨時創作，

Chinese articles

挑一份能愉快的工作

experiencetoday

一位同事跟我說上司的改變，或許她對下屬的期望很高，但又出手很低，形成落差。

事實上，除了一位副經理，我們都只拿取微薄的薪金，低於全港人工的中位數，然而我們默默做著的工作和質素，已經是超班了。

她以甜食攻勢，差不多每個月，都給我們同事一些甜吃，大概是希望我們多留一點。

回想過來，我畢業後的工作的短時期緊張，但很開心，同事早上一起打球，下午回報館開工。下班後，也會不時去吃宵夜，無憂無慮，直至某報館的一班高層進駐，令財副組的同事都不想久留。

是的，生活和工作總有變數，我讀書時學習新聞是公正，我也算是一個直正的人，不希望向這些壞勢力低頭，我們全組人都陸續離去，不感可惜。

年輕時，輕輕的人走了，沒有包袱，沒有憂傷，只是隨心而活，隨心而工作，也沒有怕這些惡人的不是，只是怕被人追求。

年輕不𢤦得如何對待追求者，我好像要上一課，學習戀愛和相處。

今天，我順著心意，愛我的人沒有太投入，總是忙著工作和其他事，也在遠方，學習跟其他人和朋友享受時光吧！我把我的愛給予長者和值得交往的友伴，感覺舒服多了。

English articles

Glastonbury Festival

experiencetoday

Glastonbury Festival never popped up on my Youtube until I was rickrolled one day. 

It is not the good old Rick Astley singing “Never gonna give you up” in his original cheesy music video like 30 years ago, but his live performance at Glastonbury Festival 2023. 

I clicked the start button right away. My eyes were immediately drawn to him standing tall in his pale pink suit on stage. It was his first appearance at the Festival, and the audience adored him. His signature tune gained momentum with his strong stage presence. Two dancers led easy dance steps, joined by ordinary security in front, making the live show more engaging. 

There are no signs of ageing on his face. He is no longer a young lad but a mature performer whose performance blew the roof off the joint. His renditions of Smiths’ songs are so memorable that I played them night after night like a lullaby. 

Rick retired from the music industry for a long time until a young man found his music video so cheesy that he decided to mock it. To everyone’s surprise, the “Never Gonna Give You Up” song became viral. As a result, the record company relaunched the official music video to ensure that people rickrolled to it. Rick’s name is no longer unknown in the universe, and his fame is bigger than ever.  

Despite no control over Rickrolling, Rick’s music career is back. He was invited and paid for appearances at events and festivals. He was interviewed on talk shows, and music magazines, sharing his Rickroll experiences. 

Rick sang in the noon time slot at Glastonbury, and to his surprise, was welcomed by a big crowd. His performance was outstanding and named the most impressive performance at the Festival.

English articles

The “Yellow” sun

experiencetoday

It was winter 2003 when I entered the Tate Modern Museum. A sun that was so close, so gigantic, and so warm surprised me.

I watched the latest documentary on Netflix – Abstract: The Art of Design, in which the artist of this weather project Olafur Eliasson explained the power of “yellow” which he used in his installation “The Weather Project”. It featured a huge, glowing yellow sun mounted on the museum ceiling. Surrounding the sun was a misty haze that relaxed me. That was exactly what I saw in the museum at the time. How lucky I was.

I could not say it was sunset or sunrise. But the experience was so intense that the sun warmed my body and soul no matter how cold the outdoor temperature was. I happily lied down on the floor with my friend and many others, focusing and enjoying the calm moment. I could not think of a more wonderful thing better than the unreal sun. It is close but safe. It is big but not too bright.

I could have stayed there for hours if I did not have a busy schedule. “Is that modern art?” I wondered at the time. I don’t think it’s so abstract that it’s unapproachable. Contemporary art can penetrate our normal everyday lives and become part of our daily experience.
With meditation becoming popular, I will say meditation under this sun art should be an ideal experience.

English articles

Eurovision

experiencetoday

April is always a great month with holidays and Eurovision pre-parties. Early to mid-May is the highlight of the month. This music event is the biggest of all kinds and has given me excitement for years. It is more than a music competition, but a visual presentation of original songs. It celebrates alternative cultures. Many singers, groups, and bands try to convey deep and meaningful messages in their songs – self-love, female power, being confident to be yourself, and the hardship of being artists without insurance or being ripped off. Staging is massive with a week of rehearsals.

This takes up a lot of valuable time for artists to take part in. Hence, not many established artists want to spend so much time participating. It can be very frustrating if a well-known artist does not win the competition.

With the change in the voting system this year, the two semi-finals will solely be decided by public votes, not only by those in the participating countries but for the first time by audiences around the world. Job well done! That’s really a major change. Eventually, the results could be a shock for many people.

The competition is more or less back to normal after the pandemic. No COVID rules, no restrictions on the number of audiences. The complete ambience is back! The official Eurovision organiser creates a lot of interesting content. I personally like the artists’ top 5 picks of their favourite songs in history, say, it’s natural for an Icelandic singer to pick a few past Icelandic entries, or Mimicat, a Portuguese singer, to select Portuguese songs in her Top 5. A few participants chose their own songs to be in the Top 5 as part of their promotion strategy.

Another fantastic official interview series is about the artists’ favourite pictures. Not a bad one. I like how the producer kept the interviews short, spontaneous, and to the point. After all, there are almost 40 entries. Information can be overloaded and repetitive these days with photo galleries, video clips, social media clips, youtube clips, shorts, and interviews on tik tok, youtube, and official platforms.

Staged in Liverpool, this year’s Eurovision is particularly welcoming, friendly, and accessible. Maybe there aren’t any language barriers, maybe it seems to be supported by a famous King and Queen. The world has returned to “normal”.

It is unbelievable how much delegations have devoted their energy to promoting their artists and getting exposure on social media. Checking out videos can be fun. For example, Käärijä, the rapper from Finland, shows off his unique personality in the video about what to pack for Eurovision. Some of the dance steps were revealed a bit before rehearsals.

The event is extremely competitive. I would like to see if the number of views of individual videos reflects the semi-final results.

Stay tuned!

English articles

Lazy, indulgent Sunday

experiencetoday

I usually feel refreshed after getting plenty of sleep the next day. This morning, I struggled a bit. Waking up, I felt stiffness in my entire body. My scalp needs scratching and a massage to feel relieved. My throat is suffocating, and it’s a little hard to breathe. My spines are locked and need my full attention to release the tension.

Is it because of insufficient sleep? Or am I just a bit stressed? Do I need more serotonin?

Hiking yesterday morning probably left my muscles sore. My muscles tightened and the teacher wanted us to work on our core muscles in my yoga class last night. I tried to stretch and loosen my muscles between tightening exercises. It was a great feeling to have such a long stretch. I always wanted to regain my flexibility and aim to do the split again one day. My muscles are still strained. My racing thoughts are still with me.

How can I work through my day when I do not feel fit to have a more productive writing day? I simply practise breathing exercises, have a warm shower, lie on the sofa, and indulge in my favourite fruits, desserts, and drinks. Self-care is a necessity as well as interactions with familiar faces.

It is joyous to meet familiar faces on the community farm. I am disappointed with my winter harvest. Sunshine is insufficient. But my farm mates are generous to share some of their harvest and plants with me – lettuce, basil, and peppers.

Our farming session will end soon, and we need to take a break before another farm session comes.

By listening to music and watching movies, I can refocus my drifting mind on something else entirely. I must say today was not my usual Sunday morning, I hate my body limits what I can do. But I told myself the weird feeling will be gone soon and I decide not to push myself too much. Tomorrow will be a better day.

English articles

Bad hair day

experiencetoday

From late March to April, people in Hong Kong turn on their AC and fans at home. Heat may not be the culprit, but humid heat is. The air is stuffy, and even with the wind, we still feel damp.

It is quite common to find corridor floors wet all day when humidity reaches 90 – 100%. We cannot do much unless air conditioners are installed to keep humidity low, but they are not environmentally friendly.

Laundry can be difficult as many of us hardly have space to dry our clothes. Dehumidifiers and fans are must-buy items in Hong Kong.

Styling hair is difficult on a humid day. I wash it and blow it dry in the morning. By the time I return to the office, my thin hair sticks to my face and becomes frizzy. I simply call it a “bad hair day”, or even a “worst hair day”. The young girl sitting next to me has an electric device to style her hair at work on a wet day. This is not once, but twice. “It is so imperative to ensure my hair looks gorgeous no matter what the weather is like.” That’s what she probably thinks.

On such a hair-unfriendly day, I prefer a passive approach to managing my hair as it naturally turns into an Omega style. I have to embrace it or tie my hair in a bun.

To be more aggressive, I’ll get a haircut, making it short and neat. Then it will stay well for a while.

I’m wishing the humidity this year is within hair bearable limits.

English articles

Tips for Sleep

experiencetoday

A therapist once suggested taking care of feelings instead of seeking a solution to certain problems. Our minds have emotional needs. My brain started to “digest” what it meant – Listen to your body instead of overthinking to save brain power. 

Just follow your gut, just do it without thinking, especially before you go to sleep.

You write an address on an envelope. You need not think, it’s just your procedural memory that helps you do the task. You have breakfast. You need not think as you just take that into your mouth and your body automatically digests the food. You get to bed, it’s supposed to be programmed to sleep. If you think too much, it interferes with the original plan and leads to a lot of worries and interference. 

Let the mind wander, stay still, close your eyes, imagine you’re resting and relaxing deep, slow down the breathing like when you’re sleeping. Then a visual will appear. Let it wander. You will realise “I just slept a bit?!”, follow these steps and enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep. 

Thanks to the comic artists who gave us such valuable tips. 

That’s something I have to keep in mind. Let it rest. 

A few more tips from a sleep specialist:

  • Change your thoughts – It’s fine to function the next day even if you do not sleep well tonight. 
  • Accept the fact – the less you struggle with insomnia, the better your chances are of falling asleep.
  • Learn to relax – worry less, see what happens
  • Nervous about our class/meeting – tell yourself worrying is normal, try to accept 
  • Sleep hygiene; sleep early instead of having too many worries
  • Mindfulness in a pleasant environment, feeling the beautiful environment, minimising negative thought
  • Do what is of importance to you – look at the big picture; care about what you want to do, and forget those minor things
  • Not to cancel meeting your friends; normal routine 
  • Immerse less in social media, and focus on what you like to do, e.g. hiking, swimming, heading to the beach 
English articles

Autistic minds

experiencetoday

What do autistic people really feel? I always imagined a small kid playing in a corner of the room until I watched the BBC documentary – inside our autistic minds. 

Two young adults showed the world how they felt when encountering the world in a 2-minute video. I could see two normal human young minds pursuing their own dreams. 

Ethan is a 19-year-old student and rapper. He demonstrated in his video that he is hypersensitive to sounds and noises, as well as to many visual stimulations. Anton, a football lover, lets his friends and family know in a video that routines are super significant to him. Having many things planned ahead of time is super critical to him. If his precise schedule gets disrupted, he feels lost. He can only have fun when he feels safe and secure by sticking to the routine. 

I cannot differentiate Anton’s case from that of an anxious adult. If you know the difference, tell me more.

Chinese articles

我終於中了

experiencetoday

由今年初，香港復常，結束3年十分壓迫的生活，口罩令撤回了，對其他國家的入境限制也沒有了。面授課堂和全日制課堂也如常了，似乎大家已很安心外出旅行。

星期一最後一天復活節假期，大早起床，頭痛極了，肚子亦痛，以為是昨日吃的東西變壞了。累極了，只想休息，睡了一回，醒來，又再入睡去，喉嚨有點乾和痛，反反覆覆直到睡到下午二時。早上的快測是一條線，但另一個快測似乎有第二條線，很微弱的，也沒有想太多，反正是假期。三時多再試一次吧，真的是兩條線，四時多，兩條線也很深色。

頭是有點燙熱，很久沒有發燒至38.5C，原來頭燙熱的感覺不好受。吃過退燒藥，減熱完，又升高，如是者，一天過後，37.8C，算是有所改善，頭仍是繃緊的。

精神好多了，沒有想昏睡的感覺，眼睛有點累，想吃清淡而多水份的東西，昨天中午吃過湯飯，胃很舒服；晚餐吃炒意粉，實在太濃味。今早還是吃麥片，喝檸檬水吧！

其實，這次初次中新冠的經歷，最不快的是，未能上班，我不是工作狂，但畢竟我只上班三天，有點過意不去，另外，就是未能享受昨天的假期，以及今個星期的門球練習。

昨天似乎是幾天假期天氣最好的一天，本想去海灘，或來過小行山，但還是未能如願。

今天，趁要看醫生取醫生紙，到公園走走吧！

醫生也一言中的，為何數個月前確診外出是罪，現在病了不返工是則是惡行？我們的價值觀是長久而建立，真不是每一個人都可以在短時間內作出修改。我尊敬他終於自我的精神，也多謝他不讓我回公司傳播病菌。

English articles

Korean pizzas

experiencetoday

Hiking in Hong Kong always ends with a happy meal with friends or hikers. It can also be a fun barbecue time in a country park as many hiking tracks are close to the city. 

I brought my buddies to join a few visually impaired friendly people for an easy hike today. 

The track is home to monkeys, starting at the Shek Lei Pui Reservoir bus stop. Most of the track is flat, wide cement roads, so non-trained volunteers can take visually impaired individuals along the track. 

Then we passed through the Golden Hill Country Park by the Kowloon Reservoir, and ended up at the BBQ site at Shing Mun Reservoir. We’re so excited to find the sizzling BBQ smell was back after the public BBQ sites were closed for almost 3 years. 

Of course, hiking is not complete without great food, and today, we sat down together at a long table, trying Korean pizzas and fried chicken. Don’t argue with us that Asian pizzas are not authentic or ruin Italian traditions. 

Asians are creative and embrace diverse food cultures. We are not satisfied with plain pasta without meat or vegetable ingredients. A pizza with just mozzarella and herbs looked sad to us, so we tried different ways to make our pizzas yummy.  

I first tried frozen Korean pizzas 5 years ago. They do not have many ingredients because of competitive pricing, so I add chopped tomatoes and beef or cold cuts on top of my meal. 

Korean pizzas, in general, are crispy with a thin crust and usually well decorated with tomatoes, meats, seafood, or even kimchi toppings. If you want extra cheese, order a thick crust filled with cheese. The pizza we ordered at Pizza Maru today looks like a work of art, making our lunch gathering more fun and pleasant. 

The chicken comes in so many flavours. The honey garlic ones and beef tasty sauce ones taste fantastic. The meal was definitely a happy ending for everyone who hiked together today.

English articles

Family harmony

experiencetoday

What happens if different family members have divergent political views? The movie Jojo Rabbit tells a good story about such a situation.

The movie characters advocated for their ideals without conflict. Mom let her son join youth propaganda training, but she supported a propaganda campaign to free Germany. The son discovered his mom’s secret, but didn’t report it to the authorities; instead, he gradually embraced it and even became a Jewish girl’s friend. 

In real life, people join a political party and switch to another after a few years. It might reflect how their mindsets have changed or mean that they are seeking another path that fits with their goals and career development. 

Is that a harmonious choice? Not necessary. We compromise to make life happier. 

Is Jojo Rabbit a war movie? Not exactly, the ending with David Bowie’s music makes it happier and edgier. 

Have a good weekend.

Chinese articles

如何善待患者

experiencetoday

女主角出世時37秒沒呼吸，之後造成腦性麻痺，媽媽很愛她，從洗澡以至外出上車，也看緊她。她的漫畫成為別人的作品，沒有得到讚美，只感到被人利用。一天，她看到一些情色漫畫，突然想嘗試創作這方面的漫畫，她主動到雜誌社跟主編見面，雖然得到主編的欣賞，但就是情愛的描繪不真實，因為她從未試過戀愛，也從未試跟男子作親密過，主編鼓勵她有這方面的經驗後，加入漫畫的元素再次見她吧。

少女對性的疑惑，令她想與男士作一次親密接觸，結果無功而回。她失望極了，但她遇到一個服務殘障人士的性工作者和她的朋友。兩人給少女一種過正常人日子的感覺，唱歌、飲酒、打扮一下。媽媽發現她不再工作、過著不一樣的日子，十分失望，沒收她的電話，也不讓她外出。

殘障人士和其他患者也有其尊嚴，照顧者、朋友和同事或未能理解。她們也想發揮所長。什麼是休息？

這可以是在床上睡著，這亦可以是按摩，這亦可以是作喜歡的事，例如每天精神許可下，寫一點東西、做一點運動、外出呼吸一點空氣，這可能是她們放鬆的地方。醫護人員只顧不讓病人下床，不希望她們跌倒，其實在醫院環境容許下，患者走走又何不可以呢？伸一伸，跟人說笑也是一種休息。看看電郵也可能是一種放鬆，因為這是與別人連繫的感覺，一切都可以從心。

患者重視的地方是工作嗎？她們的重點大多放在自己的身體上，難道她們遇到交通意外，也要第一時間向老闆交待在意外現場，是否有點不切實際。是真心關懷的話，多一點同理心吧。每個人待事待人都不同。

有些殘障人士希望幫助推她一把； 一些患者則會自己『前行』，感到無比快樂。

定律是這樣嗎？ 放大固有的空間吧！