Tag: #love

English articles

Jane Austen小說中的美國人

experiencetoday

Hallmark 另一套向Jane Austen致敬的電影An American in Austen，女主角Hariet 活在圖書館中，她對Jane Austen的鍾愛程度似乎有點過火，甚至認為自己只能嫁給Mr Darcy。當她的男朋友花盡心思向她求婚時, 她只是回覆Maybe。她的另一半和朋友都大感失望。

怎料， 她竟然如願以償, 投入了Pride and Prejudice 的故事當中, 成為Bennet家於美國居住的遠房親戚，Mr Darcy更對她另眼相看。她作為Jane的粉絲,又怎樣能夠「順其自然」,讓Darcy愛上自己,而不是Elizabeth。她的加入，令Elizabeth 變得忙亂，差點誤嫁給情場騙子Mr Wickham。

她忙於撥亂反正, 亦明白到Darcy雖然是夢中情人，但絶不想破壞Jane Austen 名作的劇情，也不會貿然愛上不太認識的Darcy。

當她夢醒之時，心知真命天子不是Mr Darcy, 而是自己的男朋友，急忙找他表白自己的心意。

雖然故事沒有太大的創新性,但總算勾畫了現代書迷對Pride and Prejudice的一份尊重,也點出萝中人沒有真實感, 可能是一個假象。外國人加入一個古典故事中, 也頗有趣, 尤其她富有超能力, 可以「預知」未來。 

pagingmrdarcy
Chinese articles

Paging Mr Darcy

experiencetoday

今年年頭看了多部與Jane Austen相關的電影，原來Hallmark 頻道於二月向Jane Austen致敬，特別推出多套原創電影。Jane Austen的故事永垂不朽，多年來都得到不同年齡層的觀眾共鳴，是打入民心的一條羅馬之路。

第一部我看的電影是Paging Mr Darcy。主角Eloise 是一位年輕學者，專長研究Jane Austen。她雖然醉心於Jane Austen的著作，但卻從不融入其作品浪漫的場面和情節。

在一個Jane Austen年度聯盟聚會中，她擔任講者。正當各人都十分投入為化粧晚會和各聚會作好準備之餘，她則毫不感到興趣，心想我只是學者而已。

就在這時候，她遇見大學甄選委員會成員之一Dr Jennings，原來她滿心想進入著名大學學府教書，多認識Dr Jennings和獲取她的信任，對她入職絶對有利。

為了討好Dr Jennings，她裝作十分期待晚會。事實卻是，她對準備晚會毫無頭緒，連出席宴會衣著都欠奉，也不𢤦跳舞。

不過，在場內一直以Mr Darcy造型出現的Sam湊巧是Dr Jennings的親戚，他享受穿上一身維多利亞年代衣著、殷勤地招待各位來賓，也對Eloise有好感，當然跟 Pride and Prejudice 一樣，Eloise對Sam有點錯誤的看法，當然最終兩人互相幫助，一拍即合，完美大結局。

Eloise一角是有點生硬欠說服力。Sam一角則較討好，也比較俊俏。整套戱可說是自然輕鬆，不失為周末的輕鬆小品。

Chinese articles

心情

experiencetoday

今年團年飯如常地外出，跟家人簡簡單單吃一頓飯。奇怪的，只是席間大家都不說話，只有我和弟弟交談，其他人好像跟手機吃飯，很不習慣。

於網站隨便選了一間餐廳，原來是打咭餐廳。幸好食物質素不錯，賣相也很討好。我和弟弟一路讚好之餘，其他人好像不存在，只是吃和玩手機，究竟我們是吃四人飯，還是二人飯呢?

我嘗試跟她們打開話題，但也不成功，看到她們仍是一臉目無表情。

心傷是真的，原本幻想電影中高興的團年飯不屬於我家，換來的是一個尷尬的場面。怪不得電影《飯戲攻心》單是用一間屋、一家人吃飯的場景便可拍成電影。

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轉眼間，到開年飯了，原先興致勃勃的我要準備午餐，最終我決定不煮飯了，理由是反正她們都沒有反應，也沒有感恩之心，不如留待氣力，為懂得欣賞的朋友煮一餐吧!

吃飯後，各人來到我家坐坐，我展示新電視功能之餘，決定不理會她們是否有興趣和聽得懂，播播Barbie 電影吧! 今天，我放棄著眼於她們的感受上，以平常心看電影，就像在電影院只專注看電影一樣，不理會其他人是否欣賞電影，心靈上會好過一點，也比較自如。畢竟這個是我家。

Chinese articles

踏上改變之路

experiencetoday

朋友接受訓練成為心理治療師，儘使不是心理學家，他滿有自信，認為自己的能力已提升至跟其他專業人員一樣，並搬到中產地區居住，靠近家人，多一點時間跟孫女、孫兒玩樂。孩子長大得快，建立關係從小培養較容易。

精神健康是今時今日、以至未來的一大關注點。單是新一代的成長環境、功課量、以至地緣政治的複雜性、父母對子女的要求和社會對人的期望，也加大生活壓力。父母們也因小朋友的功課，而轉化為對自身的壓力。

有時， 我走在擠擁的街頭，也想多一點空間，呼吸新鮮的空氣；若果困在人多的車廂內，我只好閉上眼，想像身處異地，在草地上俯瞰藍天白雲，每次看到樹影都有很舒適的感覺。

再談談這位朋友，年已過半百，仍然有這份勇氣和幹勁，轉換工作性質，我也為他高興。自從他在職場被轉職後，我聽了他的恕言一段時間了，但猜不到他真的會坐言起行，由父親離世的一刻，過了數個月後，又接待我這個從來未謀面的人，轉眼間，他竟然立下心腸整理自己的履歷，並成功轉換新工作，更隨即部署賣屋，買新屋，勇氣可嘉。

我習慣把事情盡快整理，不想把工作、考試和功課堆在一起，要短時間一同處理。當然兒時，沒有選擇的餘地，就只好面對，一天兩科考試，我會縑棄太多。而面對大學課程、選科、課外活動和做幹事等，某程度上都可以調節。讀書也會每天花點時間温習。 

我祝福他開展新生活，不過人也有脆弱的時候。當我見到他突然對事和物有著過激的反應時，我心裡暗想，他知道他也需要幫忙嗎?我們不是神，是人啊!然而，我不願再提，他太過敏了。

Chinese articles

Barbie變成人

experiencetoday

第一次看電影Barbie時，感覺前段的劇情有點儍，看了十分鐘便算了。

我兒時沒有Barbie玩偶，Barbie是高級玩意，但同等價錢，Hello Kitty、Melody、Little Twin Stars會更吸引，單是玩具屋和快餐屋造件精美和十分討好，公仔設計也很活潑可愛，在小朋友眼中，想像空間會濶一點。

Barbie是一個金髮身材完美的娃娃，但又不似一般BB洋娃娃般令人想到要被人呵護。或許由於家境貧窮，自己有新衣穿，總比跟Barbie換衣服開心。

長大後，我感覺Barbie是一個金髮美女，沒有任何專長，單是玩具而己。 Ken的出現，最初被想像為Barbie 的另一半，但後來不知明地令我聯想起Ken可能是獨立個體，其性取向有點模糊。

Barbie電影從片段中突顯其身份— 她是一位律師、一位醫生、一位諾貝爾得獎者和一位傑出女性，她每一天都快樂生活，Ken則感到有點自卑，缺乏安全感。他認為自己是Barbie的附屬品，只有得到Barbie的認同和陪伴，才感到高興。這正是Ken的定位不清的大前題。

說白一點，電影突顯Barbie與時並進，配合現代人的概念，女性不再受父權社會的思想操控，要向著自我的目標進發。 

有趣的是，來自人類社會的Barbie迷跟一個又一個Barbie對話，就如心理輔導，喚醒她們的良知和價值觀。如果人類社會的心理諮詢來得這麼容易就好了，不過看看這些橋段，確是令我會心微笑。  

Barbie居然寧可轉做人，也不甘於快快樂樂躱在她的玩具屋中。莫非人生單是快樂是不足夠嗎?

English articles

Father and son

experiencetoday

Prince Charles sought to mend his relationship with William following Diana’s passing William. He could sense his son’s unspoken anger and immense sadness, recognising that without addressing these emotions, genuine communication between them would be impossible.

When William confronted his father, he held Charles responsible for failing to protect his beloved mother from the paparazzi and the fatal car crash. In reality, William was weary of the constant “protection” himself. Would life be fun without constant surveillance, especially at parties?

The weight of his future role as king had never felt as heavy as it did when he walked behind Diana’s coffin. He wanted to avoid the overwhelming attention that came with his position, a stark contrast to his mother’s ease in public despite her efforts to evade the paparazzi.

A candid conversation with his grandfather revealed William’s deep-seated fear of being constantly watched by the world, now that he had taken Diana’s place as the centre of attention. Despite his handsome appearance and regal stature, he struggled to embrace his role as the object of affection for countless young girls.

Charles, too, was grieving over Diana’s death, sharing in his son’s pain.

While at university, William found solace in the condolence letters he received from people. The memory of Diana’s warm smile continued to resonate with many, despite her imperfections.

English articles

Celebrating a different love

experiencetoday

The new year gives me time to catch up on some old memories, including the “Queer as Folk” TV series. Original a TV series from the UK, it caught enough attention that the Americans have adopted the series and developed their version.

Aidan Gillen posed as Stuart is almost a Master of a Universe who has slept with half of the men in the community. His friend Vince has a crush on Stuart but never tells and does not have luck in the dating scene. Vince is simply too cute for us not to like him. He has been waiting until one day Stuart meets the 15-year-old “sunshine” boy Nathan who explores the gay scene and finds himself excited with everything he sees. 

There were no TV series with that much nudity at the time. In the TV series, gay men seem to live in a proud community and can be successful like Stuart. A proud man who lives his life like no others. 

Nathan is inexperienced but full of curiosity. He runs away from home but finds his confidence in this new world. 

The gay scene in Hong Kong might not be comparable to that of the TV show twenty years ago but we could find drag queens in specific bars or a few bars who attracted specific crowds who wanted to pursue different lifestyles. Should we call this a concept of freedom?

After all, that’s the era gender has become blurred. Singers and bands like Duran Duran, Thompson Twins, and Culture Club dressed so glamourously and in style that I can’t call them men or women at all. There were no “non-binary” labels at the time. I’m excited that beauty and makeup transcend the limitations of genders. I consider pursuing something you believe is cool.  I was so naïve that I found myself immersed in the thought that I might turn myself to be a Jew one day. 

So, unfortunately only the American version of the “Queer as Folk” is available. I can’t relate “Brian” is a name to represent sexy and powerful guys like Stuart. Michael is not as innocent as Vince.  There are enough “meats” to draw the gay audience and it’s surely daring to bring forward a vivid gay scene in the TV series. After all, Brian is not invincible. He manipulates his friend Michael when Evan leaves him. His encounters with Evan are somehow naïve that I have to stop watching the programme. 

Only if I can watch the British version I can give the TV series justice to comment any further. After all, the image of Stuart cannot be matched by Brian, a young executive who looks like a boy. Stuart is carefree, wild, and arrogant and has no fears. He cares less about people’s feelings as if he dominates the world. It just makes me want to look into this character and get to know him more. 

Chinese articles

嫁入皇室

experiencetoday

《The Crown》第六季描述Kate的母親是一位善於向上爬的女人。她曾經當過空姐，因而認識了丈夫，婚後為子女安排生日派對，而觸發靈感建立自己的事業王國。

William公開自己將入讀St Andrews 大學，並宣布會先去非洲地區義務工作一年，再繼續學業，這時候，她細意安排 Kate到歐洲學習藝術一年。女兒放棄夢想入讀的大學 — 愛丁堡大學，而轉到 St Andrews，這說不上湊巧吧！

然而，命運便是這樣，沒有這樣的巧合和場景，兩人是不會相遇。作為女兒的Kate在連續劇中，對媽媽的安排表示不滿，但與此同時，亦很在意母親對自己拍拖人選的反應。

現實世界的Kate則對媽媽的精心安排逆來順受，還找機會吸引William的眼球，絕不是連續劇中如此矝持，是一個機會主義者。

我們總有些時候會責怪父母不給自己一個更好的家。有朋友年過五十，到現在也老是怪父親對一家的不是。我的耳邊也不時聽到有人抱怨兩老認為自己未能跑得更遠。也許天下沒有完美的家庭，就算不用憂柴憂米，家庭富裕，生活總會有一些不如意的事發生。年青反叛的心有時也會令我們捥拒父母的心意和安排。

現在，Kate和William如童話故事般的王子與公主，快快樂樂地享受生活，這可能是她母親教導她如何在皇室各種限制中勇敢地生活。畢竟𢤦得接受是一個幸運，也令日子更稱心如意。

Chinese articles

走向星空盡頭?

experiencetoday

周末看了英國BBC一套電影Supernova，中文譯作<在星空盡頭等你>，跟Supernova拉不上關係，台灣譯作<永遠的我們>，題材是講述一對相識20年的同性戀戀人如何面對另一半患上失智症的心路歷程。

兩個主角的臉孔都很熟悉—Colin Firth和Stanley Tucci都是演技派演員。演出很細膩。電影中，兩人都是中產識事之人，Colin飾演Sam，是一位鋼琴演奏家，Tucci飾演50來歲的Tucker，是位作家，患有早期失智症。

導演開段拍攝他們以旅行車開展旅程，彼此相處輕鬆、幽默，不算悲觀暗淡，Sam沒有為Tucker 患病而放棄，決定在稍後的演奏會過後，停下來照顧Tucker。

他們重遊Lake District，湖邊美景給予心靈慰藉，也營造二人相處的美好契機。Sam滿心忻盼，希望與Tucker重遊更多地方，拾起回憶片段。然而，Tucker卻另有計劃，儘使手腳靈活度減低，已經無法寫作，卻不想Sam擔心，表面上從容以對，但只是有意隱瞞，把傷感藏在心裡。

當Sam從友人中發現他的人生計劃時，兩人不見得太激動，仍然平靜理性地對話，Tucker對Sam說:「我希望別人記得今天的我，不是將來(凋零)的我。」Sam也堅持己見，一心要與Tucker終老，無懼困難，不計較做任何事。這也是導演希望帶出的信息:「我們為所愛甘願做任何事，人對自己如何生活、如何去愛和開懷大笑也希望有所選擇，就算生命快將終結時。」

影片中絕非傷感連連，而是兩個男子如何在情感和病患中作出選擇。

有趣的是，Tucci 接觸劇本時，對影片深感興趣，於是與認識廿年的好友Colin分享，並遊說他參與演出，原本導演想Tucci飾演Sam，而Colin則擔當Tucker的角色，但二人看看劇本、想了又想，都感到不妙，直至Colin提議對調角色較適合，怎料，好友的想法略同。

我們愛與朋友相聚，大抵是這樣吧，對事物的看法有點類同而有所同鳴!

English articles

Well-Being

experiencetoday

“Beyond the satisfaction level of income, you can buy more pleasurable experiences, but you will lose some of your ability to enjoy the less expensive ones.” I read this quote from the book, “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.

I’m never rich but I can relate this idea to what I experienced when I travelled first time. I sat by the window seat, feeling excited to see the plane flying among the clouds. A simple experience was a mere pleasure when I saw Paris, Greece, or Italy. The enriched culture, exotic appearance of people, and even the night train had become very sexy! I could survive with baguette for a few days, or sample cheese and skip my lunch.

After years of travel, I start to look for something more “fascinating” to stimulate the senses, or just lie on the beach in a resort enjoying sunshine and good food.

The book talks about the measurement of well-being by U-index. What’s well-being? Health? Happiness? This index refers to the proportion of time people spend in a negative emotional state while commuting, working, or interacting with people around them. If you sleep 8 hours, you commute, work, and enjoy time with families for 16 hours. If your U-index is 25%, that means you feel emotional discomfort or pain for around 4 hours.

The measurement is solely a perception of how you feel rather than the actual health conditions. People who feel more positive and can bear pain might be better off in well-being. According to Kahneman, higher income can mean that you can buy more pleasures by obtaining luxurious goods or having nice vacations, but that does not translate to emotional experience. Therefore, better life satisfaction does not equal enhanced well-being.

Another interesting point he points out is that people with religious faith enjoy positive affect and stress reduction, but they cannot reduce any feelings of depression or worry. Nevertheless, the idea of perception is very powerful, not only in marketing but also in happiness and well-being. The next question is how can we generate positive energy and feel better in the long run.

English articles

Farewell Gifts

experiencetoday

Giving colleagues small farewell gifts is a popular ritual in Hong Kong. In the past few months, I received a pineapple snack, a biscuit, a tasty pudding, and today, a fortune cookie and a doughnut from a colleague who left the team and transferred to a new post with better pay. My boss also treated us to a Japanese tempura restaurant. Both the noodles and tempura made my palate very satisfied. The free deep-fried octopus and sesame mochi are also tasty.

Planning such treats is not easy. In a large corporation and a mixed office, should I give away cakes to colleagues with whom I have no interaction at all? How about the office, of which I barely know but one or two people? It was not an easy choice. And the cost of gifts can easily shoot up to a few thousand if it involves so many departments.

I never like to buy a lot of souvenirs when travelling. However, working in a large organisation with a lack of decent pantry space makes it difficult to distribute snacks efficiently. I definitely plan to have rooms for snacks on my upcoming trip. 

When my desk is constantly filled with snacks from colleagues, there is no way to avoid the chance to return those favours. 

Since we aren’t allowed to accept gifts from customers or vendors, I’m not sure whether my supervisor would like to give us goodies. A free mooncake can briefly make you happy. The perfect food for a lengthy Zoom meeting is Greek yoghurt.

Sometimes I feel like a spoiled child, but I’m glad I don’t have to stress about how much money to contribute towards dinner or a farewell present for my coworker. 

Life can be simpler and happier.

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English articles

Mid-autumn Festival

experiencetoday

I deliberately plan my work with delightful moments sometimes, for example, having a site visit followed by a lantern-making workshop during lunchtime. Another day, I headed to the lantern riddle event after the lunch break, extending my ME time at work. 

My desk is now full of lanterns by the window. Even the hospital tuck shop is having a good mid-autumn festival promotion for ice creams, popsicles and drinks. The mid-autumn festival celebration has become a huge thing this year. 

My friend often reminds me to refocus on positive thoughts even though I have found pain in my ear, tightness in my back muscle or constipation. We always want to get rid of the dreadful, awful feeling, but wait! Hang in there. I did try, and it was not easy. 

Friends’ support and a pleasant work environment give me a cheerleading effect. 

“Acknowledge the unpleasant feelings with gentleness and kindness. Feel them with curiosity instead of strong negative thoughts,” my friend reminded me. Of course, seeking treatment or relaxation to soothe those feelings if possible.

I did find deep breathing for hours could soothe my ear pain one day. Yeah! It takes such a long time to wind it down. I thought my body wanted to tell me I shouldn’t ignore the headache, so it passed on to my ear. Anti-inflammatory ear drops could help. 

I was convinced to break my prejudice to enjoy a kiwi fruit a day for constipation. Other options can be laxative medicine or probiotic tablets. Exercises and massage are also helpful. But hot pad, kiwi, vegetables, stretching and walking/running are the best solution for me. I opt for natural options if possible. 

Compared with corporations and small businesses, I’ve found hospitals put more effort into supporting staff in stress management, especially in the rehabilitation hospital where I’m working now. After all, most patients are frail and old. Without an open heart and a positive mindset, patient conditions can affect one. 

Typically, people who are either less educated or in middle age work as patient care assistants in Hong Kong. They can be very gossipy workers, but many tend to just focus on enjoying a good meal rather than focusing on the pain that patients are suffering. Wards can be a high-risk environment, but no one knows what will happen the next year. So, just live in the present moment.

More celebrations to come before the mid-autumn festival on 29 September – volunteer programme for patients, team lunch, etc. After all, restrictions are kept for too long for life enjoyment.   

starrystarrynight
English articles

Starry, starry night

experiencetoday

After the once-in-a-lifetime horrendous rainstorm in Hong Kong, the weekend remains cloudy and rainy. Obviously, my motivation for going out is less. I had a vibe for music to boost my mood on a Sunday morning. 

The random song list came up with “Vincent” by Don McLean, who tells a story of Vincent van Gogh suffering from a mental disorder. I sang along with the lyrics, which were beautifully written. Only people who suffer from mental disease can get to know the pain of emptiness as if it is a “darkness in my soul” and “no hope left in sight on that starry night”. Even his self-portrait looks like “weathered faces lined in pain.” As a matter of fact, van Gogh’s paintings are a means to “try to set them free”. 

Van Gogh did not have doubts about his own talent but somehow was not content with it.  The other artist could not bear to live close to him. He felt abandoned.

After having practised mindfulness for a while, I am even more sensitive to my feelings and thoughts. I’ve found myself more creative and having more thoughts when watching a movie or listening to a song. 

I am not short on creativity and am inspired by stories, songs and books. When there are more thoughts in mind, many brilliant ideas are in your head. Artists like Van Gough and Yayoi Kusama created tons of great works despite their psychiatric conditions. 

Recently, Don McLean was accused of emotionally abusing his daughter and wife over the years. So his lyrics say “And now I understand what you tried to say to me…How you suffered for your sanity…

How you tried to set them free,” I don’t know if the writer can relate to his feelings because his mental state was unstable at the time and he hurt his family without realising it. 

Discussion of well-being in the early days was uncommon. People probably considered Van Gogh a lunatic at the time, as he cut his own ear off. His artistic work is, no doubt, very memorable with his “flaming sunflowers” and “daffodils”. 

The lyrics of Starry Starry night precisely depicts the life journey of Van Gogh, very well-written.

People sometimes subconsciously make a working and learning environment an unhealthy place without realising that they treat others unfairly or abuse them emotionally. And we have to stand up for ourselves, fight for fairness and stop abuse from happening.  

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free

They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue

Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free

They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night

You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could’ve told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frame-less heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget

Like the strangers that you’ve met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free

They would not listen, they’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will

English articles

Social comparison

experiencetoday

The family of Coco Lee calls for a formal appreciation of singers’ contribution to society. Elton John was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to music and charitable service” in 1998. He then became Sir Elton John. 

Canada’s top singer kd lang received the Order of Canada title in 1996 for her dedication to Canada and her remarkable talent. In 2018, she was awarded Alberta’s highest honour, the Alberta Order of Excellence. The presenter praised her for demonstrating the power of being true to oneself. 

We always compare our lives and capabilities with others. Their family might relate to why a famous singer like Coco Lee is not recognised by the government or any professional body. 

We are influenced by the era of social media in which influencers and friends simply show mostly the good sides of themselves – a perfect body, a luxurious vacation, a handsome boyfriend, a sumptuous meal, and cool friends while some influencers tend to draw attention with negative headlines. 

With optimised algorithms and AI technology, YouTube, Vimeo, Facebook and IG feed us similar stories based on what we have clicked or viewed. The “daily viewing platform that they shape encourages one to read a one-sided story instead of having a look at the whole picture. It is not uncommon to see more people having a polarised view. Confirmation bias is not unusual. 

Will clear viewing history in our browser help? Not many like to do so as our browsing history makes our life easier in some ways.  

Modern society is fast-paced, and many people consider it a merit when they successfully adapt to this upbeat living environment. People, young and old, constantly swipe their phones every single minute. They have packed schedules for work, meetings, and social life. How about a break? Many consider it a waste of time. 

How about sleeping more? Sleep deprivation is normal, not an option as YouTube videos, homework, clubbing, and chores are always a top priority. 

My friend once asked me, “What do you think about doing nothing at home?” I was puzzled by this question at the time. I was simply young and naive about the benefit of enjoying the time of doing nothing.  

English articles

Let it go

experiencetoday

In the finale of season 2 of And Just Like That, Carrie proposed a toast at the “Last Supper” before moving out of her favourite apartment, which she has lived in for over a decade. While she was finally ready to let go of this cosy apartment in a posh area, she invited her guests to think of the things they would like to let go of.

We always hold on to many little things, memories, or ideas, no matter if they are good or bad. Zen masters told us to train ourselves to remain calm through meditation or mindfulness. If our brains can let go of worries, hate, anger, and greed, we can enjoy peace in our minds. It’s easier said than done.

Choosing to land in another relationship, Anthony let go of “control”, and his new partner let go of “Rome”, where he comes from.

Seema let go of “distrust” as she finally takes up a serious relationship with a director who is very business-minded and has to live in the Middle East for half a year.

Miranda and another character both chose “guilt” because of the relationship issue and the crazy thought about giving up the baby.

Nya is giving up “yesterday” as she is so happy to hit on the Michelin chef. Carrie picked expectations,” and as she explained, sometimes things turn out better than expected somehow.

Expectations are a huge word. When I studied marketing, the lecturer emphasized the role of expectations a lot. People are guided by hopes and expectations when making purchase decisions instead of economic factors.

When we meet someone special, we have a set of expectations that may determine whether a relationship can or cannot work. When we interact with our family members, we expect our parents to support us or our siblings to be our good friends.

Letting go of “fear”, “guilt”, and “regret” is something we commonly do successfully for our well-being. My therapist once said, “Don’t set my expectations that high, so I won’t be that disappointed in the end.”

Do I expect myself to be a high achiever every time? The company I had worked with for years let me down so badly that it hurt me so much. I set up a massive database, established a solid communication policy, built rapport with reporters, drove business enquiries from campaigns, and offered insights on increasing website traffic and hitting on keywords. I should have been more assertive and protected myself when the selfish supervisors belittled me for keeping their own benefits. That ruined my well-being. Working for a company like this is totally unhealthy.

I’m happy that I shifted my job role to focus on helping those who are more in need in an organisation that engages to promote a healthy environment.

I let go of my regret about not leaving that company earlier and my fear of not jumping out of my comfort zone much earlier. Now I am a sponge. The world is big. I try to absorb every new thing in life.

I still cannot let go of expectations; I just set my bar lower while adding wisdom from people around me every day.

samanthajones
English articles

And Just Like That

experiencetoday

I was a fan of “Sex and the City.” I feel empowered and so free watching the series. That sort of man-seeking mentality could never happen in Hong Kong. Four beautiful women who are fearless about chasing love or sexual experiences without being afraid of being judged. Not to mention, they also have a very successful career.

When I watched season one of “And Just Like That,” the sequel to the series, two years ago, I felt something was missing—the witty, charming, and remarkable Samantha Jones. The character Carrie is a little dreamy and fake, as I doubt how often writers are so rich and dress so flashily in couture and high heels. But then it gives me joy to see fabulous couture that I could never afford or wear.

It’s always joyous to see Charlotte in a branded outfit. She looks like a modern version of an adorable, forever young fairy godmother who can manage her family life very well with her husband and two daughters who are full of distinct characters. She talks in a sweet way about a kind mother who tries to convince others of what she thinks is right. When she refocuses on her career, her husband Harry complains about hardly having time to run errands for the family. I love the way she tells Harry to try hard as he’s only doing the “bare minimum.”

Many women either sacrifice their careers for love or try hard to manage both in their lives. The shout is just a wake-up call for many men to think again about how hard women can be—having a child, raising a child, doing a job and chores, and maintaining a love life. 

Miranda is almost the one I like to skip watching. She is tall and has the skeleton for great dresses. It is saddening to see that she appears to be depressed and in doubt in many scenes. She’s a successful lawyer but struggles with her love life and career. It is a bit unbelievable, especially that she questions her sexual identity at the age of 50, not when she was young. 

So it’s a great surprise and a fantastic moment to finally see Samantha in the finale of season two, even though it’s very brief. Samantha looks fabulous after all these years. She is the one who makes me believe she stays true to herself. 

She is such a classic role model of the modern-day woman—so confident and capable of conquering the world, and she dares to speak her own words without caring what others think. 

I’m glad that I continued the “Just Like That” journey and watched the whole two seasons. It reminds me that women in their 50s can still be wonderful, try a new path, and dare to dream and love.

English articles

Everything Everywhere all at once

experiencetoday

I was never interested in sci-fiction drama. The movie “Everything Everywhere all at once” is a surprise exception. I felt dizzy sometimes watching the scenes jumping around different universes, but I found it the director meant to tell us to be kind, to be brave, and to love each other. 

To find peace in this complex and chaotic world, it is tiresome to keep fighting and create emotional conflicts.  

Because of the information explosion, our life had never been that busy. Many of us tried to keep track of the internet updates, gossip, 24/7 work life, family life and personal issues. Having a part-time job or a side interest while studying is a must as young people want to start the race early. It is so important to obtain as many skill sets and experience right before your 20s. Isn’t it university life should be fun and carefree? Not anymore.   

In a critique written by the LA Times, it quoted the director Kwan stating, “The internet had started to create the alternate universes. ” The movie was part of a product of the “contradictions and emotional whiplash” of being very online at the time. 

There was a time when I felt like I could keep up the speed Internet expanded. A professor told me, “Just say I don’t know, and I am only focused on my strength and interest area.” 

Yes, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you do not know certain things. We could call ourselves “Master of the Universe” 20 years ago when information was confined to newspapers and books. Not anymore. Maybe our strength, nowadays, is to learn how to ask and where to seek the information that we need, instead of adding all useless information in our head. 

To avoid information overload, I feel alright not to keep track of all the news, especially bad news. It is smarter to filter and digest useful information, make connections and take part in activities that are meaningful to me.   

Life is too short to get upset when you feel bad about not knowing the latest gossip or Netflix movies.  I stopped joining the information race but became focused and open to new ideas and creative thoughts.

Chinese articles

與植物和寵物對話

experiencetoday

一年多前，我嘗試租園圃種植，有園友說：「收割臭草時，要跟植物說聲，我要收割一些帶回家，放在糖水烹調，否則臭草會死去。」又有人打趣說，她出行時，會跟家貓說聲:「我出外旅行啊，是會回家的。」這樣才會讓貓貓不會感到被遺棄。養狗的朋友也知道要與狗狗溝通，安撫牠，才開始為牠們洗澡。

話說我以前同屋朋友養著一隻白色鬆毛貓，客廳是共用的。那頭白貓最愛鬆毛鬆翼地走來走去，梳化是他磨練腳甲的好地方，也知道我不是她的主人。

白貓得到貓奴的寵幸，留主子在家時，通常會開著抽濕機。事實上，貓十分聰敏，他懂得跳上抽濕機按一按抽濕機的開關制，十分享受風自機頂吹出涼風的感覺，他就停在抽濕機機頂的風口位置，就像我們吹頭髮般，把毛吹得蓬鬆。

屋向北，冬天時，有點冷，我房間沒有暖爐或暖風機，年青呀、 蓋被取暖啦! 當然，貓奴特別關心主子的冷暖感覺，外出時，也會特意為主子開著暖爐，貓貓差不多貼著爐邊安靜地取暖，擺出洋洋得意的表情。

朋友都知道我家有貓，因為衣服真的難以完全脫「毛」，尤其是冬天的大衣，惟有與貓毛同存。白貓的神情有時有點兒兇，也有點裨氣。有時會把門口的鞋亂放在客廳，令我們知道他生氣。最難忘的一次是，同屋在公司趕稿，一夜沒有回家，主子除了亂抛我們的鞋履外，也隨意在家便便，以示威勢，情景不堪入目。當年手機拍照不盛行，否則應立即與同屋分享他作的「好事」。現在想回來，如果朋友跟他「溝通」，他會否聽話、會乖巧一點?有人問我，為何沒有想過成為素食者。我對他說:「我深信植物也是有生命的，不過由於不懂發聲，可能會變得弱一點，又或如臭草，收割後，死掉了。」最近學習種植，才懂得大部分的植物比動物需要更多的照顧才能茁壯成長。

English articles

Going back in time: Press Play

experiencetoday

Going back in time creates a million storylines, including love interactions between couples. In the movie Lake House, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock built an incredibly deep connection through the exchange of letters, despite the fact that they lived in different years.

The Time Traveller’s Wife challenged a couple in which the husband randomly travelled through time without control. Their love life was unconventional. The husband missed important occasions, and the wife was frustrated sometimes. They met each other in different eras and appreciated each other’s beauty. There was a perfect man, but he was not always around.

Can we change our fate by going back in time? The science fiction romantic film Press Play talks about the love story of a cute young couple. They were set up by the young man’s stepsister and met in a record store where there was a wall of unwanted cassettes. People created their own cassettes with a collection of songs in the old days, usually the songs we heard on the radio. 

I was earnestly waiting for my favourite songs and then pressing the record button when I was young. It took a few weeks to make a mixtape. But the tape gave me great joy. 

The couple created their own mixtape by recording the songs they listened to together and what they loved to celebrate. Unfortunately, the young man was killed by a car, leaving the girl with a broken heart.

A few years later, the record store’s owner gave the girl the mixtape, and she realised once she pressed play, she was transported back on her date briefly with her love, whom she could still not forget. She tried to save him several times. He just died in different ways. Even the owner persuaded her to resolve with such ideas and just enjoyed seeing her “boyfriend” again.

After a few attempts, her “boyfriend” gave up the idea of trying to escape the next death incident. Why? 

We do not want to let go of some fond memories that keep our hearts warm and make us feel great love. We live for the pleasant moments. Love, drive, joy and objectives keep us alive.  

For the last song she pressed play, the girl decided not to meet the guy at all. Can he be saved this time?

Chinese articles

開放的態度

experiencetoday

近年，記者愛上報道精神健康的新聞，個別病人因未能短時間得到專科診症而病發，引來慘劇收場。香港經歷了兩次社會運動、在疫症期間採行嚴厲措施，近年來無論是內部經濟、教育制度、管治和工作環境都出現許多變化，以至政府不得不正視大眾的精神健康。

部分香港人選擇離開，反正都是一個大改變，在世界另一角落重新開始。不過，雖然近月病人似乎只需等候數個星期，便可以得到專科醫生的診治，但跟從前相比，醫生卻未能花時間對待新症，只能輕輕一談，給病人藥物而已，全人治療的目標實在難以達到。

從前，醫生會用一小時了解初次接觸的病人的病歷、心態和經歷，如今，不足二十分鐘，有點令人失望；舊症更只花五至十分鐘。近年，公私營的醫生看診都有縮短時間的傾向。私營醫生可能希望善用時間多賺取金錢，公營就要達標，當然仍有一些醫生真的用心幫助病人，多問診了解情況，這就是病人是否與醫生「夾」得來的道理。

我認識一位中醫，笑容滿面之餘，也會花時間跟病人傾談，有時醫治身體的不適，無論是普通科或是專科，一個温馨的問候和語調帶點關心和鼓勵都是無形的醫治。有朋友說，我每次都期待覆診，跟醫生傾談的機會。 

試想想，你想認識一位新朋友，用十多分鐘的言談，你會了解他多少呢?就正如見工一樣，從學歷表得知一些經驗，但十來分鐘的交談，其實只可以說大家憑感覺請人和選擇工作。

說回那天我在院覆診等待取藥時，見到一位高瘦的男士走在我面前，三四十多歲，樣子斯文，但他的舉止和發問的語速，令我聯想起他的心靈出了問題，他站在我的跟前是有一點太近、令我有點不自在。是的，我只是憑感覺，因為我從來沒有認識他，他向我問道：「消費劵是否今個月發嗎?」我只好快快回答說：「上月發了。」然後，我轉過頭來，走到另一角，是身體感到有點不自在的反應吧！一個陌生人在藥房的言行舉止與別不同，又問我這樣的問題，心裡實在感到奇怪。

離開診症大樓時，升降機塞滿人，竟然又遇到他。這次他向其他人問可否給他水渴，難得的是，大家都有著開放的心，視他如常人，冷靜地告訴他到大堂後再詢問吧！不知道是否媒體的教育告訴我們要善待人，還是常在醫院出入的人對不同類型的病人已經習以為常。 

無論如何， 我們沒有許多機會深入了解途人，只能抱著開放的心、不要胡思亂想猜度別人吧。