今天，看完Anne Hathaway的The Idea of You， 無論社會如何開放，姐弟戀都仍然難以被人接受，男年長，女年輕，看在別人眼中還可以接受，但身份對掉，便好像有點不順眼，我也受到這個框架影響，曾感到不太自在，儘使這個差距只是微不足道，故此我要向法國總裁致敬，我也為奇洛李維斯的戀情高興。
Hallmark 另一套向Jane Austen致敬的電影An American in Austen，女主角Hariet 活在圖書館中，她對Jane Austen的鍾愛程度似乎有點過火，甚至認為自己只能嫁給Mr Darcy。當她的男朋友花盡心思向她求婚時, 她只是回覆Maybe。她的另一半和朋友都大感失望。
怎料， 她竟然如願以償, 投入了Pride and Prejudice 的故事當中, 成為Bennet家於美國居住的遠房親戚，Mr Darcy更對她另眼相看。她作為Jane的粉絲,又怎樣能夠「順其自然」,讓Darcy愛上自己,而不是Elizabeth。她的加入，令Elizabeth 變得忙亂，差點誤嫁給情場騙子Mr Wickham。
Prince Charles sought to mend his relationship with William following Diana’s passing William. He could sense his son’s unspoken anger and immense sadness, recognising that without addressing these emotions, genuine communication between them would be impossible.
When William confronted his father, he held Charles responsible for failing to protect his beloved mother from the paparazzi and the fatal car crash. In reality, William was weary of the constant “protection” himself. Would life be fun without constant surveillance, especially at parties?
The weight of his future role as king had never felt as heavy as it did when he walked behind Diana’s coffin. He wanted to avoid the overwhelming attention that came with his position, a stark contrast to his mother’s ease in public despite her efforts to evade the paparazzi.
A candid conversation with his grandfather revealed William’s deep-seated fear of being constantly watched by the world, now that he had taken Diana’s place as the centre of attention. Despite his handsome appearance and regal stature, he struggled to embrace his role as the object of affection for countless young girls.
Charles, too, was grieving over Diana’s death, sharing in his son’s pain.
While at university, William found solace in the condolence letters he received from people. The memory of Diana’s warm smile continued to resonate with many, despite her imperfections.
The new year gives me time to catch up on some old memories, including the “Queer as Folk” TV series. Original a TV series from the UK, it caught enough attention that the Americans have adopted the series and developed their version.
Aidan Gillen posed as Stuart is almost a Master of a Universe who has slept with half of the men in the community. His friend Vince has a crush on Stuart but never tells and does not have luck in the dating scene. Vince is simply too cute for us not to like him. He has been waiting until one day Stuart meets the 15-year-old “sunshine” boy Nathan who explores the gay scene and finds himself excited with everything he sees.
There were no TV series with that much nudity at the time. In the TV series, gay men seem to live in a proud community and can be successful like Stuart. A proud man who lives his life like no others.
Nathan is inexperienced but full of curiosity. He runs away from home but finds his confidence in this new world.
The gay scene in Hong Kong might not be comparable to that of the TV show twenty years ago but we could find drag queens in specific bars or a few bars who attracted specific crowds who wanted to pursue different lifestyles. Should we call this a concept of freedom?
After all, that’s the era gender has become blurred. Singers and bands like Duran Duran, Thompson Twins, and Culture Club dressed so glamourously and in style that I can’t call them men or women at all. There were no “non-binary” labels at the time. I’m excited that beauty and makeup transcend the limitations of genders. I consider pursuing something you believe is cool. I was so naïve that I found myself immersed in the thought that I might turn myself to be a Jew one day.
So, unfortunately only the American version of the “Queer as Folk” is available. I can’t relate “Brian” is a name to represent sexy and powerful guys like Stuart. Michael is not as innocent as Vince. There are enough “meats” to draw the gay audience and it’s surely daring to bring forward a vivid gay scene in the TV series. After all, Brian is not invincible. He manipulates his friend Michael when Evan leaves him. His encounters with Evan are somehow naïve that I have to stop watching the programme.
Only if I can watch the British version I can give the TV series justice to comment any further. After all, the image of Stuart cannot be matched by Brian, a young executive who looks like a boy. Stuart is carefree, wild, and arrogant and has no fears. He cares less about people’s feelings as if he dominates the world. It just makes me want to look into this character and get to know him more.
“Beyond the satisfaction level of income, you can buy more pleasurable experiences, but you will lose some of your ability to enjoy the less expensive ones.” I read this quote from the book, “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.
I’m never rich but I can relate this idea to what I experienced when I travelled first time. I sat by the window seat, feeling excited to see the plane flying among the clouds. A simple experience was a mere pleasure when I saw Paris, Greece, or Italy. The enriched culture, exotic appearance of people, and even the night train had become very sexy! I could survive with baguette for a few days, or sample cheese and skip my lunch.
After years of travel, I start to look for something more “fascinating” to stimulate the senses, or just lie on the beach in a resort enjoying sunshine and good food.
The book talks about the measurement of well-being by U-index. What’s well-being? Health? Happiness? This index refers to the proportion of time people spend in a negative emotional state while commuting, working, or interacting with people around them. If you sleep 8 hours, you commute, work, and enjoy time with families for 16 hours. If your U-index is 25%, that means you feel emotional discomfort or pain for around 4 hours.
The measurement is solely a perception of how you feel rather than the actual health conditions. People who feel more positive and can bear pain might be better off in well-being. According to Kahneman, higher income can mean that you can buy more pleasures by obtaining luxurious goods or having nice vacations, but that does not translate to emotional experience. Therefore, better life satisfaction does not equal enhanced well-being.
Another interesting point he points out is that people with religious faith enjoy positive affect and stress reduction, but they cannot reduce any feelings of depression or worry. Nevertheless, the idea of perception is very powerful, not only in marketing but also in happiness and well-being. The next question is how can we generate positive energy and feel better in the long run.
Giving colleagues small farewell gifts is a popular ritual in Hong Kong. In the past few months, I received a pineapple snack, a biscuit, a tasty pudding, and today, a fortune cookie and a doughnut from a colleague who left the team and transferred to a new post with better pay. My boss also treated us to a Japanese tempura restaurant. Both the noodles and tempura made my palate very satisfied. The free deep-fried octopus and sesame mochi are also tasty.
Planning such treats is not easy. In a large corporation and a mixed office, should I give away cakes to colleagues with whom I have no interaction at all? How about the office, of which I barely know but one or two people? It was not an easy choice. And the cost of gifts can easily shoot up to a few thousand if it involves so many departments.
I never like to buy a lot of souvenirs when travelling. However, working in a large organisation with a lack of decent pantry space makes it difficult to distribute snacks efficiently. I definitely plan to have rooms for snacks on my upcoming trip.
When my desk is constantly filled with snacks from colleagues, there is no way to avoid the chance to return those favours.
Since we aren’t allowed to accept gifts from customers or vendors, I’m not sure whether my supervisor would like to give us goodies. A free mooncake can briefly make you happy. The perfect food for a lengthy Zoom meeting is Greek yoghurt.
Sometimes I feel like a spoiled child, but I’m glad I don’t have to stress about how much money to contribute towards dinner or a farewell present for my coworker.
I deliberately plan my work with delightful moments sometimes, for example, having a site visit followed by a lantern-making workshop during lunchtime. Another day, I headed to the lantern riddle event after the lunch break, extending my ME time at work.
My desk is now full of lanterns by the window. Even the hospital tuck shop is having a good mid-autumn festival promotion for ice creams, popsicles and drinks. The mid-autumn festival celebration has become a huge thing this year.
My friend often reminds me to refocus on positive thoughts even though I have found pain in my ear, tightness in my back muscle or constipation. We always want to get rid of the dreadful, awful feeling, but wait! Hang in there. I did try, and it was not easy.
Friends’ support and a pleasant work environment give me a cheerleading effect.
“Acknowledge the unpleasant feelings with gentleness and kindness. Feel them with curiosity instead of strong negative thoughts,” my friend reminded me. Of course, seeking treatment or relaxation to soothe those feelings if possible.
I did find deep breathing for hours could soothe my ear pain one day. Yeah! It takes such a long time to wind it down. I thought my body wanted to tell me I shouldn’t ignore the headache, so it passed on to my ear. Anti-inflammatory ear drops could help.
I was convinced to break my prejudice to enjoy a kiwi fruit a day for constipation. Other options can be laxative medicine or probiotic tablets. Exercises and massage are also helpful. But hot pad, kiwi, vegetables, stretching and walking/running are the best solution for me. I opt for natural options if possible.
Compared with corporations and small businesses, I’ve found hospitals put more effort into supporting staff in stress management, especially in the rehabilitation hospital where I’m working now. After all, most patients are frail and old. Without an open heart and a positive mindset, patient conditions can affect one.
Typically, people who are either less educated or in middle age work as patient care assistants in Hong Kong. They can be very gossipy workers, but many tend to just focus on enjoying a good meal rather than focusing on the pain that patients are suffering. Wards can be a high-risk environment, but no one knows what will happen the next year. So, just live in the present moment.
More celebrations to come before the mid-autumn festival on 29 September – volunteer programme for patients, team lunch, etc. After all, restrictions are kept for too long for life enjoyment.
After the once-in-a-lifetime horrendous rainstorm in Hong Kong, the weekend remains cloudy and rainy. Obviously, my motivation for going out is less. I had a vibe for music to boost my mood on a Sunday morning.
The random song list came up with “Vincent” by Don McLean, who tells a story of Vincent van Gogh suffering from a mental disorder. I sang along with the lyrics, which were beautifully written. Only people who suffer from mental disease can get to know the pain of emptiness as if it is a “darkness in my soul” and “no hope left in sight on that starry night”. Even his self-portrait looks like “weathered faces lined in pain.” As a matter of fact, van Gogh’s paintings are a means to “try to set them free”.
Van Gogh did not have doubts about his own talent but somehow was not content with it. The other artist could not bear to live close to him. He felt abandoned.
After having practised mindfulness for a while, I am even more sensitive to my feelings and thoughts. I’ve found myself more creative and having more thoughts when watching a movie or listening to a song.
I am not short on creativity and am inspired by stories, songs and books. When there are more thoughts in mind, many brilliant ideas are in your head. Artists like Van Gough and Yayoi Kusama created tons of great works despite their psychiatric conditions.
Recently, Don McLean was accused of emotionally abusing his daughter and wife over the years. So his lyrics say “And now I understand what you tried to say to me…How you suffered for your sanity…
How you tried to set them free,” I don’t know if the writer can relate to his feelings because his mental state was unstable at the time and he hurt his family without realising it.
Discussion of well-being in the early days was uncommon. People probably considered Van Gogh a lunatic at the time, as he cut his own ear off. His artistic work is, no doubt, very memorable with his “flaming sunflowers” and “daffodils”.
The lyrics of Starry Starry night precisely depicts the life journey of Van Gogh, very well-written.
People sometimes subconsciously make a working and learning environment an unhealthy place without realising that they treat others unfairly or abuse them emotionally. And we have to stand up for ourselves, fight for fairness and stop abuse from happening.
Starry, starry night Paint your palette blue and gray Look out on a summer’s day With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills Sketch the trees and the daffodils Catch the breeze and the winter chills In colors on the snowy linen land
Now I understand What you tried to say to me And how you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how Perhaps they’ll listen now
Starry, starry night Flaming flowers that brightly blaze Swirling clouds in violet haze Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue Morning fields of amber grain Weathered faces lined in pain Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand
Now I understand What you tried to say to me And how you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how Perhaps they’ll listen now
For they could not love you But still your love was true And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do But I could’ve told you Vincent This world was never meant for One as beautiful as you
Starry, starry night Portraits hung in empty halls Frame-less heads on nameless walls With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget
Like the strangers that you’ve met The ragged men in ragged clothes The silver thorn of bloody rose Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
Now I think I know What you tried to say to me And how you suffered for your sanity And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they’re not listening still Perhaps they never will
The family of Coco Lee calls for a formal appreciation of singers’ contribution to society. Elton John was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to music and charitable service” in 1998. He then became Sir Elton John.
Canada’s top singer kd lang received the Order of Canada title in 1996 for her dedication to Canada and her remarkable talent. In 2018, she was awarded Alberta’s highest honour, the Alberta Order of Excellence. The presenter praised her for demonstrating the power of being true to oneself.
We are influenced by the era of social media in which influencers and friends simply show mostly the good sides of themselves – a perfect body, a luxurious vacation, a handsome boyfriend, a sumptuous meal, and cool friends while some influencers tend to draw attention with negative headlines.
With optimised algorithms and AI technology, YouTube, Vimeo, Facebook and IG feed us similar stories based on what we have clicked or viewed. The “daily viewing platform that they shape encourages one to read a one-sided story instead of having a look at the whole picture. It is not uncommon to see more people having a polarised view. Confirmation bias is not unusual.
Will clear viewing history in our browser help? Not many like to do so as our browsing history makes our life easier in some ways.
Modern society is fast-paced, and many people consider it a merit when they successfully adapt to this upbeat living environment. People, young and old, constantly swipe their phones every single minute. They have packed schedules for work, meetings, and social life. How about a break? Many consider it a waste of time.
How about sleeping more? Sleep deprivation is normal, not an option as YouTube videos, homework, clubbing, and chores are always a top priority.
My friend once asked me, “What do you think about doing nothing at home?” I was puzzled by this question at the time. I was simply young and naive about the benefit of enjoying the time of doing nothing.
experience today 