小時候，夢見自己考試，沒有想到可能是壓力。如今，夢到一些舊同事工作態度散慢，想法卻有不同， 原來自己對這些不合作的員工有點不耐煩，覺得機構架構上人手太精簡，未免沒有顧及中層的需要，而令員工出現無力感。
就如打門球一樣，5個人一組對戰，講求合作和協調性。一人欠準，可能會累及對方；一人打得出色，如缺乏隊友支援，也沒有發揮所長的機會。於是，成功人士都擇木而棲，或另起爐灶，才有大展拳腳的機會，可惜這個道理，我明白得太遲。
心理學有依附的理念，如小朋友得到父母的愛，會信心大增而敢於面對挑戰。其實，老師是否公平對待同學、是否適當地鼓勵和讚賞學生，也影響到小夥子的成長。這個月，香港舉行世界級壁球比賽，無論是男子或女子賽，埃及球員都名列前茅，更是人才濟濟，前一哥唯有轉換國籍，延長打世界賽的機會，畢竟已經30歲出頭。轉公司、轉工作環境，大抵是這種心態吧!
周末看了Out of My Mind電影, 講述患有cerebral palsy腦麻痺 的Melody雖然天生因大腦損傷而行動不便，有話說不得，手部肌肉也不靈活，但在她的成長歷程上，我自己和父母都不斷為她的人生爭取更多機會。
電影起首便描寫Melody心底有許多說話但未能講，但思路猶如常人，只是不能從口中表達，又礙於手不靈活，不能用手語溝通，帶出有口不能言的無奈感覺。
當人生注定要終身靠人照顧，只能用一塊有一些日常用語和字母板溝通時，心裡十分難受，不期然令人對她投以憐憫的目光。
十年前，我遇到一個患有cerebral palsy的女孩，她說話正常，性格十分開朗，幸好有一位男士領養她，肯背著她到遠方上學。然而，孩子變成少女，她「爸爸」照顧她時，也感到有點不方便，加上年老了，體力大不如前……。
Melody性格樂天，她天資聰穎，一位醫生在特殊學校發現她的能力，嘗試為她爭取到正常學校學習。難得她也以開放的態度嘗試認識新朋友，爸爸鼓勵她不要放棄人生，霍金也可以靠著電腦發聲，但Medi-talker昂貴，父母沒有放棄，硬著要為女兒取得發聲的機會，最終如願以償。
學校選將參加Smart Kids的問答遊戲，她幫助好友温習，老師不為她評分而令她落選，但父母著力為女兒爭取，並取得入圍資格，但由於航班的改動，而令她失去坐飛機到華盛頓，未能參加總決賽，確是大失所望。
事實上，電影就是要展示殘而不棄的精神，鼓舞小朋友及成年人，奇蹟是可以出現，不要畏懼別人的眼光。殘障人士也可以從事舞台的工作，正常交往，受人尊重。
電影的感動之處，是孩童內心的一團火沒有熄滅，身邊充滿著愛，時刻也得到鼓勵。我希望世界可以這麼美!
香港許多高學歷而滿有職場經驗的人士移居英國和加拿大後，卻找不到合適的工作，不少人要委身做一些藍領的工作，這些是自然不過的事。我驚嘆的是，為何我們要對內地專才呢?說真的，大家都是人，香港到外地是新移民，他們來港也是新移民，不能單從在內地工作經驗的眼光來港找工作。
事實上，不少香港畢業生或有十年、二十年工作經驗的中年人也轉不到工或正在待業。一年或半年找不到工作也不足為奇。
僱主會從CV相關的工作經驗入手，就算是化學系、又或知名大學畢業，又如何?
回想起有中大資深講師到加拿大好不容易才找到教中文的工作，這真的是難能的工作機會，亦有在港做了IT工作的中年人，到英國後轉做KOL和炒股人。
一對加拿大情侶，從事醫生和診所經理多年，工作十多年後，決定到哥斯達黎加過一些減壓而渡假式的生活，以經營旅居繼續生活。
我剛了解到一些年青年人由亞洲混入以歐洲難民，逃到歐洲居住。當地政府不但為他們提供落腳點，屋也有人打掃，給予生活費，但我看不到這青年到新落腳的國家投入，也毫無貢獻，感覺很可悲。每個人都想生活得更好，但如此下去生活，有意義嗎?
貧窮畫家沒錢，但他們也是因為醉心於藝術。音樂人想成名、也熱衷音樂，令我感覺到他們是為自己的生命而奮戰。
躺平而只顧取福利的人對得起自己嗎?每天對著鏡，能對自己說:我對生命無悔嗎?
在往後的日子，試看問一問自己吧!
有說夢境是透露內心一些壓力、欲望，甚至是隱疾。
上星期，我的夢又多又匪疑所思，有跟友人去旅行，但中途卻離了團而朋友沒有嘗試找我，她是不是我朋友呀! 又有旅行時，心思思想跟新認識的朋友去玩，而不願意跟同行母女一起，我都不知道為何我認識母女組合的朋友，更諻論一起結伴出遊。
這些夢是壓力，還是一些夢想?我要先問問潛意識。
過去一個月，我花了許多時間落實明年旅行的一些細節，如航空公司和飛行日子的選擇，停留住宿的安排，網上多了一些資料，憂慮的地方就隨之倍增，例如比較價錢、轉機時間、公寓的地點和是否有升降機、洗衣機、冷氣和暖氣等，就算有升降機，又會否要先上一段長樓梯和時常壞掉呢!或許我想得太多，也許我想滿足旅伴的需要。獨個兒去旅行自由自在，但又欠缺安全感，有時會有孤單的感覺。
人越大，就越矛盾。有時會跟自己說，資訊發達前，許多時都是碰運氣地試著入住不同的地方，只要近火車站和價錢相宜便可，吃頓飯也不會研究太多，因為沒有太多要求，簡簡單單能夠看到一些景點，試下新口味，就已經十分滿足。
隨著旅行經驗累積，我們想要的經歷越來越高，就好似你老闆對你日久多要求一樣，老婆想老公賺更多更多錢。原來我們有時懊惱，是因為這些無理的要求累事! 怪不得慧能法師說:「本來無一物，何處惹塵埃。」
韓劇的題材比本港劇集豐富，Netflix 引入不少韓劇，精神病房也會迎來清晨 Daily Dose of Sunshine雖然與大家關注的精神健康接軌，但不是很賣座 。觀眾還是比較喜歡一些較輕鬆的連續劇。
喜歡劇名不俗套，賦予一份清新感。日照爬進窗內，給人希望，也代表新一天來臨。用內心感受，迎接清晨的感覺更加深刻。陽光滲透皮層，給身心養份，也喚醒疲累的身軀，把昏睡的頭腦轉動起來。
一如一般韓劇，情景很有韓劇美化場景的特色—病房明亮，没有太重醫院感，病房大玻璃, 沒有窗簾, 護士室加上保護膠片，醫院咖啡店和員工餐廳都簇新，完全沒有半點雜亂的情況。劇集討論到抑鬱症、驚恐症、思覺失調、強迫症、躁狂症和精神分裂症，病人受到不同程度的生活壓力而致病，也觸及忙碌時，可能忘卻自己也處於過度受壓的狀況，忽略關心自己身心健康。我不禁儍笑，就算埋頭苦幹，不少人的內心總有一夥關心，但關心是別人，未必是自己。這刻我在遠方，觀察劇集人物，會不期然問問，為何他們會泥足深淊，難度不知道他們正在傷害自己中?
讀書時，健康管理的範疇沒有特別針對精神健康的議題，如今，這套劇集引發了我的好奇，例如房間要這樣配置嗎?不能掛窗簾?不能放枱燈?要避免病人觸及燈泡?
現代病房已沒有從前精神病院充滿軟墊的隔離室，但仍有定時檢查有沒有利器等規矩。越認識這個世界，就會於身邊許多人也受到情緒勒索，不少畫家和音樂人都借助畫作和歌曲寄語其豐富的想像力和情感。
劇集重點帶出大家將心比己，若病人回復社區生活，願大家接納，正如若身邊人發病，不會就此令女兒、姐姐和孩子放棄人生，能夠重投社會，是他們的願望。抑鬱症病情穩定的護士仍可繼續照顧病人。患驚恐症的另一男主角也學習說不，才免得再次壓力爆煲。
有患者曾說，當接受治療數個月後，他接受了自己看到的幻想，好像回復正常了。生活真的是多一點留白，多些透氣的空間。
今天，到朋友新屋探訪，大概有半年沒見面，我曾見到她因感情事而受情緒困擾，時刻找朋友傾訴，人變得負面，加上工作上的不如意，可幸的是，她跳出這個困局，現在開朗許多，大概是感情事已穏定，轉換工作順利，已一年多，工作不算辛苦，工時也不是很長，心態也有所改變。我祝她幸福，新屋新入伙日後開心快樂。
另一邊廂，一個舊同事對工作有點不滿，感到工作影響精神健康。
Netflix 的 One Day劇集沒有多年前Anne Holloway的One Day電影中結局劇痛，當中的情節也談到男女主角畢業後的種種不如意，借酒消愁是自然不過的事，亦是英國人的典型文化，劇中突顯了另一半對自己如何面對逆境的重要性，因為我們在乎其他人如何看待自己，如何解讀自己的言行。
碰巧我剛完成一個EQ課程，現代人不快樂，也許是想得太多。我送禮物給別人，從前不會想朋友會否厭棄，但收銀員看見人龍，會感到壓力。我們對自己的要求提高，不時會跟別人比較。換一個角度看，算吧！可能事情不會放在心內，但付諸實行並不容易，惟有每天學習，累積轉換心情的籌碼。
耶魯大學身心健康課程的第一周功課是要找出自己的長處，並每天付緒實行，在生活找出實踐的點子。
好奇和不斷學習是我的優點之一，這個星期我上了 EQ課程’ 參觀了朋友的新居’了解瀕死經驗 ‘嘗試了新餐廳的咖哩飯，以及尋找過闊窗簾的解決方法，總說是以正面樂觀地生活。
只期待明天天氣繼續轉好，也要勇敢學習如何接納這個新身體。
兩個年齡差一段距離的人走在一起，真的沒有壓力？現在的我，跟一群二十多歲的年青人共事，是我意想不到的事，有人問我如何自處，我說我已習慣與學生一起工作，對於我而言不是新鮮事。
我感到新鮮的地方，是要重新起步的感覺，最初不習慣，工作間少了自己的空間和私隱，但幸好的是，工作環境舒適，有助我融入新環境。
回想起，數年前，我重新嘗試去面試，混在一班年青人中，我有點尷尬，想掉頭走，但今天的我，或多或少將這份不安放下。是的，與別不同的感覺可以讓自己感到驕傲，也可以令人自我質疑。
短短一年間，我發現了要向新認識的人打開心窗是不容易的，每個人好像經歷他們不為人知的小故事，當中身邊人未必明白或接納，但現在的年青人的思想卻是開明一點，我反而可以暢所欲言，不再感到孤單。
今天，看完Anne Hathaway的The Idea of You， 無論社會如何開放，姐弟戀都仍然難以被人接受，男年長，女年輕，看在別人眼中還可以接受，但身份對掉，便好像有點不順眼，我也受到這個框架影響，曾感到不太自在，儘使這個差距只是微不足道，故此我要向法國總裁致敬，我也為奇洛李維斯的戀情高興。
資訊發逹，壓力從網上迎面而來，haters湧現，有時放下堅持，待未來適時，會看見柱光。
年青人帶著半點迷惘，就如我年青的時候，還有時間想太多嗎？現在的我，帶著許多年青的回憶，擁抱著眼前的快樂，以淚水慶祝自己的成長，並為一年來的經歷引以為傲。
這套電視電影在選角和劇情都很牽強，女主角Lily是傳統的浪漫派、心地善良，不過外表過於成熟，與男主角難以相襯。Jane Austen突然走出現實，與Lily討論愛情也不太自然。
上一套的An American in Austen中，現實世界的Hariet進入Pride and Prejudice 故事中。現代思維的她以一身18世紀打扮，融入Bennet家庭，雖然年紀較Bennet姊妹們稍年長，但彼此間的言談流暢，沒有突兀的感覺。
Love and Jane裡，一個時裝、一個18世紀打扮。一個圓潤、一個纖巧；女主角年紀加上其單純的性格，真是格格不入，戲裡真的感受不到Lily和Jane有任何連貫而深入的溝通。
顯而易見的戲情，更令Lily有如塑造成為一個沒有思想的女子。難道没有更佳的人選。
不過電影本身的情節不見得精彩、十分老土。整套戲只有高挑的男主角稍為有一點吸引力，Jane Austen迷可以留待看另一套電影吧！
今年年頭看了多部與Jane Austen相關的電影，原來Hallmark 頻道於二月向Jane Austen致敬，特別推出多套原創電影。Jane Austen的故事永垂不朽，多年來都得到不同年齡層的觀眾共鳴，是打入民心的一條羅馬之路。
第一部我看的電影是Paging Mr Darcy。主角Eloise 是一位年輕學者，專長研究Jane Austen。她雖然醉心於Jane Austen的著作，但卻從不融入其作品浪漫的場面和情節。
在一個Jane Austen年度聯盟聚會中，她擔任講者。正當各人都十分投入為化粧晚會和各聚會作好準備之餘，她則毫不感到興趣，心想我只是學者而已。
就在這時候，她遇見大學甄選委員會成員之一Dr Jennings，原來她滿心想進入著名大學學府教書，多認識Dr Jennings和獲取她的信任，對她入職絶對有利。
為了討好Dr Jennings，她裝作十分期待晚會。事實卻是，她對準備晚會毫無頭緒，連出席宴會衣著都欠奉，也不𢤦跳舞。
不過，在場內一直以Mr Darcy造型出現的Sam湊巧是Dr Jennings的親戚，他享受穿上一身維多利亞年代衣著、殷勤地招待各位來賓，也對Eloise有好感，當然跟 Pride and Prejudice 一樣，Eloise對Sam有點錯誤的看法，當然最終兩人互相幫助，一拍即合，完美大結局。
Eloise一角是有點生硬欠說服力。Sam一角則較討好，也比較俊俏。整套戱可說是自然輕鬆，不失為周末的輕鬆小品。
今年團年飯如常地外出，跟家人簡簡單單吃一頓飯。奇怪的，只是席間大家都不說話，只有我和弟弟交談，其他人好像跟手機吃飯，很不習慣。
於網站隨便選了一間餐廳，原來是打咭餐廳。幸好食物質素不錯，賣相也很討好。我和弟弟一路讚好之餘，其他人好像不存在，只是吃和玩手機，究竟我們是吃四人飯，還是二人飯呢?
我嘗試跟她們打開話題，但也不成功，看到她們仍是一臉目無表情。
心傷是真的，原本幻想電影中高興的團年飯不屬於我家，換來的是一個尷尬的場面。怪不得電影《飯戲攻心》單是用一間屋、一家人吃飯的場景便可拍成電影。
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轉眼間，到開年飯了，原先興致勃勃的我要準備午餐，最終我決定不煮飯了，理由是反正她們都沒有反應，也沒有感恩之心，不如留待氣力，為懂得欣賞的朋友煮一餐吧!
吃飯後，各人來到我家坐坐，我展示新電視功能之餘，決定不理會她們是否有興趣和聽得懂，播播Barbie 電影吧! 今天，我放棄著眼於她們的感受上，以平常心看電影，就像在電影院只專注看電影一樣，不理會其他人是否欣賞電影，心靈上會好過一點，也比較自如。畢竟這個是我家。
朋友接受訓練成為心理治療師，儘使不是心理學家，他滿有自信，認為自己的能力已提升至跟其他專業人員一樣，並搬到中產地區居住，靠近家人，多一點時間跟孫女、孫兒玩樂。孩子長大得快，建立關係從小培養較容易。
精神健康是今時今日、以至未來的一大關注點。單是新一代的成長環境、功課量、以至地緣政治的複雜性、父母對子女的要求和社會對人的期望，也加大生活壓力。父母們也因小朋友的功課，而轉化為對自身的壓力。
有時， 我走在擠擁的街頭，也想多一點空間，呼吸新鮮的空氣；若果困在人多的車廂內，我只好閉上眼，想像身處異地，在草地上俯瞰藍天白雲，每次看到樹影都有很舒適的感覺。
再談談這位朋友，年已過半百，仍然有這份勇氣和幹勁，轉換工作性質，我也為他高興。自從他在職場被轉職後，我聽了他的恕言一段時間了，但猜不到他真的會坐言起行，由父親離世的一刻，過了數個月後，又接待我這個從來未謀面的人，轉眼間，他竟然立下心腸整理自己的履歷，並成功轉換新工作，更隨即部署賣屋，買新屋，勇氣可嘉。
我習慣把事情盡快整理，不想把工作、考試和功課堆在一起，要短時間一同處理。當然兒時，沒有選擇的餘地，就只好面對，一天兩科考試，我會縑棄太多。而面對大學課程、選科、課外活動和做幹事等，某程度上都可以調節。讀書也會每天花點時間温習。
我祝福他開展新生活，不過人也有脆弱的時候。當我見到他突然對事和物有著過激的反應時，我心裡暗想，他知道他也需要幫忙嗎?我們不是神，是人啊!然而，我不願再提，他太過敏了。
第一次看電影Barbie時，感覺前段的劇情有點儍，看了十分鐘便算了。
我兒時沒有Barbie玩偶，Barbie是高級玩意，但同等價錢，Hello Kitty、Melody、Little Twin Stars會更吸引，單是玩具屋和快餐屋造件精美和十分討好，公仔設計也很活潑可愛，在小朋友眼中，想像空間會濶一點。
Barbie是一個金髮身材完美的娃娃，但又不似一般BB洋娃娃般令人想到要被人呵護。或許由於家境貧窮，自己有新衣穿，總比跟Barbie換衣服開心。
長大後，我感覺Barbie是一個金髮美女，沒有任何專長，單是玩具而己。 Ken的出現，最初被想像為Barbie 的另一半，但後來不知明地令我聯想起Ken可能是獨立個體，其性取向有點模糊。
Barbie電影從片段中突顯其身份— 她是一位律師、一位醫生、一位諾貝爾得獎者和一位傑出女性，她每一天都快樂生活，Ken則感到有點自卑，缺乏安全感。他認為自己是Barbie的附屬品，只有得到Barbie的認同和陪伴，才感到高興。這正是Ken的定位不清的大前題。
說白一點，電影突顯Barbie與時並進，配合現代人的概念，女性不再受父權社會的思想操控，要向著自我的目標進發。
有趣的是，來自人類社會的Barbie迷跟一個又一個Barbie對話，就如心理輔導，喚醒她們的良知和價值觀。如果人類社會的心理諮詢來得這麼容易就好了，不過看看這些橋段，確是令我會心微笑。
Barbie居然寧可轉做人，也不甘於快快樂樂躱在她的玩具屋中。莫非人生單是快樂是不足夠嗎?
The last episode of season 6 of The Crown set the end of this TV series. With Camilla marrying Charles eventually, there is nothing more the royal fans would love to see earnestly except the marriage story of Kate and William. However, it is just a fraction of a story that can attract viewers to follow the whole season. Anything else? How about the infamous adventure of Harry and Meghan? A strong no from many viewers, thank you.
I can relate to how the writer feels about season 7. After all, he spent 10 years writing this Netflix series. It achieves what he intended to achieve – to depict a remarkable, historical story of great interest in the most entertaining way, and help Netflix to establish a solid reputation for its series.
I love the scripts that sound natural and smart enough to make me smile, cry, and try to look into the historical facts more. A fascinating royal life is portrayed right in front of us vividly, and the acting looks so real. What’s more I’m looking for. Maybe a change in Diana’s tragic story. Can she be the Queen in a TV series, instead of dying with a weird, unattractive man?
Sadly, all the incredible things have to come to an end at some point. I truly respect the decision that no more season 7 is planned. Despite the Crown is fiction, it somehow touches on many historical facts and historical figures in the past 60 years. It reveals the strong emotions the Queen, Diana, Charles, William, and Philip experienced in many events over the years. They have feelings like ordinary people. They look for allies and support from siblings and the other half. Some are more successful than others.
The writer Peter Morgan expressed that he wanted to remain a careful distance from the present and keep the series historical, not journalistic. There are enough writings of royal stories. There is no doubt he is an expert in the area. I feel relieved that the series ends with a happy ending. Our spirits need a boost and the royal family seems to bring hope and joy to the Brits.
The new year gives me time to catch up on some old memories, including the “Queer as Folk” TV series. Original a TV series from the UK, it caught enough attention that the Americans have adopted the series and developed their version.
Aidan Gillen posed as Stuart is almost a Master of a Universe who has slept with half of the men in the community. His friend Vince has a crush on Stuart but never tells and does not have luck in the dating scene. Vince is simply too cute for us not to like him. He has been waiting until one day Stuart meets the 15-year-old “sunshine” boy Nathan who explores the gay scene and finds himself excited with everything he sees.
There were no TV series with that much nudity at the time. In the TV series, gay men seem to live in a proud community and can be successful like Stuart. A proud man who lives his life like no others.
Nathan is inexperienced but full of curiosity. He runs away from home but finds his confidence in this new world.
The gay scene in Hong Kong might not be comparable to that of the TV show twenty years ago but we could find drag queens in specific bars or a few bars who attracted specific crowds who wanted to pursue different lifestyles. Should we call this a concept of freedom?
After all, that’s the era gender has become blurred. Singers and bands like Duran Duran, Thompson Twins, and Culture Club dressed so glamourously and in style that I can’t call them men or women at all. There were no “non-binary” labels at the time. I’m excited that beauty and makeup transcend the limitations of genders. I consider pursuing something you believe is cool. I was so naïve that I found myself immersed in the thought that I might turn myself to be a Jew one day.
So, unfortunately only the American version of the “Queer as Folk” is available. I can’t relate “Brian” is a name to represent sexy and powerful guys like Stuart. Michael is not as innocent as Vince. There are enough “meats” to draw the gay audience and it’s surely daring to bring forward a vivid gay scene in the TV series. After all, Brian is not invincible. He manipulates his friend Michael when Evan leaves him. His encounters with Evan are somehow naïve that I have to stop watching the programme.
Only if I can watch the British version I can give the TV series justice to comment any further. After all, the image of Stuart cannot be matched by Brian, a young executive who looks like a boy. Stuart is carefree, wild, and arrogant and has no fears. He cares less about people’s feelings as if he dominates the world. It just makes me want to look into this character and get to know him more.
周末看了英國BBC一套電影Supernova，中文譯作<在星空盡頭等你>，跟Supernova拉不上關係，台灣譯作<永遠的我們>，題材是講述一對相識20年的同性戀戀人如何面對另一半患上失智症的心路歷程。
兩個主角的臉孔都很熟悉—Colin Firth和Stanley Tucci都是演技派演員。演出很細膩。電影中，兩人都是中產識事之人，Colin飾演Sam，是一位鋼琴演奏家，Tucci飾演50來歲的Tucker，是位作家，患有早期失智症。
導演開段拍攝他們以旅行車開展旅程，彼此相處輕鬆、幽默，不算悲觀暗淡，Sam沒有為Tucker 患病而放棄，決定在稍後的演奏會過後，停下來照顧Tucker。
他們重遊Lake District，湖邊美景給予心靈慰藉，也營造二人相處的美好契機。Sam滿心忻盼，希望與Tucker重遊更多地方，拾起回憶片段。然而，Tucker卻另有計劃，儘使手腳靈活度減低，已經無法寫作，卻不想Sam擔心，表面上從容以對，但只是有意隱瞞，把傷感藏在心裡。
當Sam從友人中發現他的人生計劃時，兩人不見得太激動，仍然平靜理性地對話，Tucker對Sam說:「我希望別人記得今天的我，不是將來(凋零)的我。」Sam也堅持己見，一心要與Tucker終老，無懼困難，不計較做任何事。這也是導演希望帶出的信息:「我們為所愛甘願做任何事，人對自己如何生活、如何去愛和開懷大笑也希望有所選擇，就算生命快將終結時。」
影片中絕非傷感連連，而是兩個男子如何在情感和病患中作出選擇。
有趣的是，Tucci 接觸劇本時，對影片深感興趣，於是與認識廿年的好友Colin分享，並遊說他參與演出，原本導演想Tucci飾演Sam，而Colin則擔當Tucker的角色，但二人看看劇本、想了又想，都感到不妙，直至Colin提議對調角色較適合，怎料，好友的想法略同。
我們愛與朋友相聚，大抵是這樣吧，對事物的看法有點類同而有所同鳴!
Giving colleagues small farewell gifts is a popular ritual in Hong Kong. In the past few months, I received a pineapple snack, a biscuit, a tasty pudding, and today, a fortune cookie and a doughnut from a colleague who left the team and transferred to a new post with better pay. My boss also treated us to a Japanese tempura restaurant. Both the noodles and tempura made my palate very satisfied. The free deep-fried octopus and sesame mochi are also tasty.
Planning such treats is not easy. In a large corporation and a mixed office, should I give away cakes to colleagues with whom I have no interaction at all? How about the office, of which I barely know but one or two people? It was not an easy choice. And the cost of gifts can easily shoot up to a few thousand if it involves so many departments.
I never like to buy a lot of souvenirs when travelling. However, working in a large organisation with a lack of decent pantry space makes it difficult to distribute snacks efficiently. I definitely plan to have rooms for snacks on my upcoming trip.
When my desk is constantly filled with snacks from colleagues, there is no way to avoid the chance to return those favours.
Since we aren’t allowed to accept gifts from customers or vendors, I’m not sure whether my supervisor would like to give us goodies. A free mooncake can briefly make you happy. The perfect food for a lengthy Zoom meeting is Greek yoghurt.
Sometimes I feel like a spoiled child, but I’m glad I don’t have to stress about how much money to contribute towards dinner or a farewell present for my coworker.
Life can be simpler and happier.
After the once-in-a-lifetime horrendous rainstorm in Hong Kong, the weekend remains cloudy and rainy. Obviously, my motivation for going out is less. I had a vibe for music to boost my mood on a Sunday morning.
The random song list came up with “Vincent” by Don McLean, who tells a story of Vincent van Gogh suffering from a mental disorder. I sang along with the lyrics, which were beautifully written. Only people who suffer from mental disease can get to know the pain of emptiness as if it is a “darkness in my soul” and “no hope left in sight on that starry night”. Even his self-portrait looks like “weathered faces lined in pain.” As a matter of fact, van Gogh’s paintings are a means to “try to set them free”.
Van Gogh did not have doubts about his own talent but somehow was not content with it. The other artist could not bear to live close to him. He felt abandoned.
After having practised mindfulness for a while, I am even more sensitive to my feelings and thoughts. I’ve found myself more creative and having more thoughts when watching a movie or listening to a song.
I am not short on creativity and am inspired by stories, songs and books. When there are more thoughts in mind, many brilliant ideas are in your head. Artists like Van Gough and Yayoi Kusama created tons of great works despite their psychiatric conditions.
Recently, Don McLean was accused of emotionally abusing his daughter and wife over the years. So his lyrics say “And now I understand what you tried to say to me…How you suffered for your sanity…
How you tried to set them free,” I don’t know if the writer can relate to his feelings because his mental state was unstable at the time and he hurt his family without realising it.
Discussion of well-being in the early days was uncommon. People probably considered Van Gogh a lunatic at the time, as he cut his own ear off. His artistic work is, no doubt, very memorable with his “flaming sunflowers” and “daffodils”.
The lyrics of Starry Starry night precisely depicts the life journey of Van Gogh, very well-written.
People sometimes subconsciously make a working and learning environment an unhealthy place without realising that they treat others unfairly or abuse them emotionally. And we have to stand up for ourselves, fight for fairness and stop abuse from happening.
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now
Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now
For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could’ve told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you
Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frame-less heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget
Like the strangers that you’ve met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will
The family of Coco Lee calls for a formal appreciation of singers’ contribution to society. Elton John was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to music and charitable service” in 1998. He then became Sir Elton John.
Canada’s top singer kd lang received the Order of Canada title in 1996 for her dedication to Canada and her remarkable talent. In 2018, she was awarded Alberta’s highest honour, the Alberta Order of Excellence. The presenter praised her for demonstrating the power of being true to oneself.
We always compare our lives and capabilities with others. Their family might relate to why a famous singer like Coco Lee is not recognised by the government or any professional body.
We are influenced by the era of social media in which influencers and friends simply show mostly the good sides of themselves – a perfect body, a luxurious vacation, a handsome boyfriend, a sumptuous meal, and cool friends while some influencers tend to draw attention with negative headlines.
With optimised algorithms and AI technology, YouTube, Vimeo, Facebook and IG feed us similar stories based on what we have clicked or viewed. The “daily viewing platform that they shape encourages one to read a one-sided story instead of having a look at the whole picture. It is not uncommon to see more people having a polarised view. Confirmation bias is not unusual.
Will clear viewing history in our browser help? Not many like to do so as our browsing history makes our life easier in some ways.
Modern society is fast-paced, and many people consider it a merit when they successfully adapt to this upbeat living environment. People, young and old, constantly swipe their phones every single minute. They have packed schedules for work, meetings, and social life. How about a break? Many consider it a waste of time.
How about sleeping more? Sleep deprivation is normal, not an option as YouTube videos, homework, clubbing, and chores are always a top priority.
My friend once asked me, “What do you think about doing nothing at home?” I was puzzled by this question at the time. I was simply young and naive about the benefit of enjoying the time of doing nothing.
In the finale of season 2 of And Just Like That, Carrie proposed a toast at the “Last Supper” before moving out of her favourite apartment, which she has lived in for over a decade. While she was finally ready to let go of this cosy apartment in a posh area, she invited her guests to think of the things they would like to let go of.
We always hold on to many little things, memories, or ideas, no matter if they are good or bad. Zen masters told us to train ourselves to remain calm through meditation or mindfulness. If our brains can let go of worries, hate, anger, and greed, we can enjoy peace in our minds. It’s easier said than done.
Choosing to land in another relationship, Anthony let go of “control”, and his new partner let go of “Rome”, where he comes from.
Seema let go of “distrust” as she finally takes up a serious relationship with a director who is very business-minded and has to live in the Middle East for half a year.
Miranda and another character both chose “guilt” because of the relationship issue and the crazy thought about giving up the baby.
Nya is giving up “yesterday” as she is so happy to hit on the Michelin chef. Carrie picked expectations,” and as she explained, sometimes things turn out better than expected somehow.
Expectations are a huge word. When I studied marketing, the lecturer emphasized the role of expectations a lot. People are guided by hopes and expectations when making purchase decisions instead of economic factors.
When we meet someone special, we have a set of expectations that may determine whether a relationship can or cannot work. When we interact with our family members, we expect our parents to support us or our siblings to be our good friends.
Letting go of “fear”, “guilt”, and “regret” is something we commonly do successfully for our well-being. My therapist once said, “Don’t set my expectations that high, so I won’t be that disappointed in the end.”
Do I expect myself to be a high achiever every time? The company I had worked with for years let me down so badly that it hurt me so much. I set up a massive database, established a solid communication policy, built rapport with reporters, drove business enquiries from campaigns, and offered insights on increasing website traffic and hitting on keywords. I should have been more assertive and protected myself when the selfish supervisors belittled me for keeping their own benefits. That ruined my well-being. Working for a company like this is totally unhealthy.
I’m happy that I shifted my job role to focus on helping those who are more in need in an organisation that engages to promote a healthy environment.
I let go of my regret about not leaving that company earlier and my fear of not jumping out of my comfort zone much earlier. Now I am a sponge. The world is big. I try to absorb every new thing in life.
I still cannot let go of expectations; I just set my bar lower while adding wisdom from people around me every day.
A friend of mine took a new job which is very fast-paced. Every time I called her, She thought she could hardly survive one more day in the new company, so she has been nagging about it from time to time. Anyhow, she finds her way to de-stress from this hectic job.
No matter how late it is when she is back home. She spends an hour preparing her dinner and another hour to enjoy her meal. The dinner she prepared is nothing fancy but a proper meal for the family – three dishes with a bowl of rice. I’m amazed how she has such an energy to do so when she’s home at 8 p.m. I would have starved to death. The thoughts of comfort food give her the mental power and energy to do so, even the dishwashing. “I love my plates and kitchen spotless clean”, she said it with great excitement.
Talking about food therapy, I decided not to bring a heavy lunch box to the office every day, but buy take-out from time to time. The new workplace is quite a distance from the subway station and restaurant areas, therefore going out for lunch is such a rush, and there are not many good options.
Canteen meals are typically oily and not very appetising. Luckily the nearby cafe now offers some pre-order choices. If I really yearn for Thai or Vietnamese food, I always encourage my colleagues to order via a food app together. Trying out a variety of food motivates me to have a more pleasant and productive afternoon. People who are chunky should love themselves for loving good food.
This simple change of routine definitely makes me happier. I let go of saving every penny by bringing lunch boxes. Unlike a friend of mine, I still do not like to invest a lot of time in cooking dinner. Having more free time to enjoy stretching, exercising, watching TV or even being idle can improve my well-being.
Recently, people stocked up on sea salt because Japan released nuclear wastewater into the sea. A psychiatrist related this phenomenon to seeking security. Another example is the stocking up of amenities and food during the pandemic.
My friend’s storeroom is a semi-grocery store. Why does she need 5 chocolate bars, and 5 bottles of detergent while our living space is so limited? She told me that the storage gave her comfort and she was not scared when supermarket shelves were emptied by the crazy crowd. Another friend of mine has an apartment full of canned soup and food, too.
Even though supermarkets and grocery stores are nearby in Hong Kong, human beings very much need a high level of storage to feel secure and safe
With the typhoon approaching, I purchased more snacks and food to reach that security level and to feel at ease.
experience today 