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online dating
English articles

Online dating

experiencetoday

Can a romantic relationship turn into a platonic friendship? 

Unfortunately, the chances are less than 10% based on my experience. Specifically, it refers to the success rate of turning my significant others into friends after a breakup. 

No matter where people are, I enjoy exploring friendships. Somehow, a few turn out to be more than just friends. It takes two to make a romantic relationship work. Imagination enhances such development, especially for those who love someone distantly. 

One of the best things I tried was text chatting with someone without knowing what they looked like for over a month. It’s quite a fun game if you are willing to invest your time and bet on furthering a relationship. 

Distance relationships are more common nowadays, and disregardless of any stigmas, online dating can be fun. Why not try express feelings in various ways – a surprise parcel, a warm voice message, or a cute song transformed by an app? All these contribute to a new fond experience. The wild fantasy simply makes online dating a lot more interesting and engaging.

Waiting for someone you fancy to respond can be anxious. I tried to delay revealing the moment of truth for almost two months.  It was all good with the everyday chats and the closeness that I felt through the conversations. I felt connected. I felt loved. I did not want the bubbles to be gone in a second when the gift box was opened. 

Luckily, the moment of truth just brought us joy and enriched our feelings.  

I am sorry
English articles

Apologise

experiencetoday

Nowadays, many people are very opinionated. It’s common to see that people block each other on social media because of disputes or negative feelings. People haven’t thought about resolving the difference or whether they did it wrong. They haven’t thought about opening up a dialogue.

In Asian countries, an apology can be seen as a “lost face”. Self-image and reputation are of importance to many people. It’s not easy for politicians or senior management to apologize because they are concerned that it might lead to consequences that they might not want to see. Even if they apologized, people could feel that they were talking with excuses in mind.

After all, admitting to being sorry can be a very unpleasant experience. It takes a lot of courage to say the words and to say them right in the appropriate tone.

Human beings are not flawless. There are moments when things are wrong or we slip our tongues, hurting someone.

Saying sorry sincerely is definitely the way to apologize and ask for forgiveness. If we rely on written communication to say sorry, the tone and the choice of words are highly critical. , avoid phrases like “if” and “but” as they always convey the impression that you are not committed to doing so. Some companies tend to apologize but they sound like they are blaming someone and do not really express it authentically.

Words can be misunderstood. When saying sorry, tone, facial expression, and body language are vital. And people expect you to tell us what action you have taken. A gift or compensation may help. Even if people don’t accept the apology immediately, they may feel more resolved if you say it authentically. It takes time for people to think about and get over something. I could see the family reconciling after almost 10 years. So don’t feel awkward if you say sorry and the others don’t seem to understand. You’ve made an effort and you accept the mistakes. You do not hold on to something and move on.

friendship
English articles

Friendship

experiencetoday

Friendship can be magical when two people meet on a special occasion, and then connect and become friends. At a certain point, friendship may continue or end. 

As a kid, I mainly looked for friends to hang out with or do activities with. I enjoyed helping my friends with their homework. 

Friendship becomes complicated as one gets older; parties are fun, and traveling together is fantastic, but sharing the same values and thoughts, or even discussing specific topics, is more meaningful to me, and maybe you, too. 

There is always mysterious chemistry when you interact with some people, but not with others.

I don’t mind not having many friends, but I consider myself lucky to have 2-3 best friends and a few likable friends. Friendships are incredibly dynamic and mutual. A critical event such as COVID can reveal the true personalities of our friends. We definitely lost some time to connect with friends and meet new people in the recent 3 years while our lives did not just halt to a stop.

I realized a friend or two had numerous excuses for not meeting for more than 2 years in a small city like Hong Kong, I should refer to them as acquaintances instead. My closest friends might no longer be with me because they have made new friends, are preoccupied with other tasks, or have moved to live in another city. After a relationship ends, it is upsetting that the relationship cannot be transferred to friendship. I lost a friend of mine and I feel frustrated. It is sad to put such a close friendship aside.

I moan at such a loss, and I stand up again, looking for opportunities to meet new people and discover engaging activities with them. In a not-so-familiar environment, meeting new people gives me a sense of excitement.

Life is more enjoyable when I have people around me. Having ME time helps me unwind and appreciate life, but adventures are more remarkable when shared with family and friends.

Thank you, dear friends. 

grit and morale
Chinese articles

意志力Grit

experiencetoday

世界正經歷重大轉變，正如您熟悉的人和事經過歲月的洗禮，也變得不一樣。樂觀地看，不妨花心機嘗試是否跟這些新事物、新人類、新事情是否產生良好的化學作用，看看是否感到任何令人雀躍的感覺或一份暖意。遇到的新鮮人和事又是否給您動力呢？跟個人的價值觀有否相連，感到舒服而快樂？

前幾天，我參與一個關於心理學Grit的討論，心理學家Angela Duckworth提出grit 恴志力包含的熱情和毅力，令人不斷克服障礙而最後逹至目標。不少運動員的故事是當中的俵俵者。

我聴到的一個故事，是關於一個企業家，他於四川地震後，希望盡自己的綿力幹一點工作，於是跟村民開始種竹子，為的是讓村民可以靠著售賣竹筍改善收入。他的一班好朋友沒有一個相信他這股不賣錢的理念。一方面，他亦沒有種竹的經驗，便貿然購入種子栽種，另一方面，他似乎只是一股作氣。

數個月後，他與村民發現竹與竹之間原來需要較多的距離，因為竹的根部橫向地生長，破壞了收成。一次失敗讓他從新學習，再次由頭開始，這次播種換來不錯的收成，竹筍亦很優質。接下來的挑戰是如何銷售大批的收成。

熊貓基地是四川重點保護熊貓的地方，亦是遊客必到的景點。他對村民種出來的竹筍收成很有信心，想到可以給予熊貓基地一些竹筍，試試收成的質素是否合乎要求。

一個月後，好消息送到他的耳邊，跟熊貓基地達成了協議，成為其主要供應商。熊貓有口福了，這也為村民栽種的成果找到一條好出路。

在這個漫長的經歷，他受盡朋友的冷言冷語，亦曾差不多花光金錢。他意志力強頑，堅持不放棄，其後更把竹筍成功賣給高級中餐廳，因為利用竹筍製作的名菜多的是，然而成功之餘，另一個難題亦突然迎頭過來 — 餐廳要求一年四季不絕的供應竹筍，無奈冬天下雪，收成很少，那又如何成事呢？

最後，他鍥而不捨，嘗試在四川氣温較暖和的地方利用稻草堆，先蓋著收成，再於冬天付貨。不得不佩報他的應變能力和堅毅意志。

新人事，新世界，新天地便是靠著意志力而創建。若舊環境舊人事已不再，不要執著，放開心胸，海闊天空，有趣的新人事和新事物自己會在您探索旅程中出現，生活會活得不一樣，可以是更美好呀。

加油吧！

English articles

Space and Houses

experiencetoday

The population of New Zealand was around 5 million in 2022, but this vast country recorded 3.4 million residents only in 1990. Its size is 240 times that of Hong Kong, where its population has already reached 7.8 million.

This island country covering 268,021 km, is slightly bigger than Great Britain. With the abundance of land resources, farms are everywhere. The bungalows are so commonly seen on the South Island, rather than duplexes and houses with multiple stories. The island simply has a lot of space where people can enjoy single-story home living. One can easily access the living room, backyard garden or garage without the hassle of going up and down. Town houses, cottages or cabins may be more susceptible to potential earthquakes compared with taller buildings.

As far as I remember, there are far more duplexes and multi-story buildings in the UK and Canada, even in rural areas. The bedrooms are usually located upstairs, and the dining room, living room and kitchen are located on the ground floor. On one of the weekends, I stayed in a two-story apartment in Akaroa, a holiday French town south of Christchurch. It is quite spacious with 1,000 sq. ft. The room arrangement is the opposite. My friend and I constantly have to walk up and down to have a cup of tea or relax on a sofa upstairs. The second floor has an open plan with a good recycle box system. That’s not a bad idea for the two balconies to be connected to the living space. The views are great. I can sit down and enjoy the garden view from the balcony, or access another balcony which is close to the street and the harbour.

The walk around the harbour or lakes is always wonderful. The water is absolutely clear. The mountain view is top of the class. The sun is so bright, wearing sunglasses is essential. People can have their private corners of the lake, enjoying the sunshine or swimming.

When I walk around the parks in the city centre of Christchurch, I find the benches are placed so far apart. Does it imply how Kiwis love to have their own space? I can see how eager Kiwis like to socialise in cafes, bars and parks. They are polite in some ways, but they remain quite cool on the streets. Almost everyone says “thank you” to the bus drivers when they get off the bus. An old lady said hello to me while waiting at the same bus stop.

In the city, people stay cool seeing people walking past them or waiting at the Bus Exchange. Customer service is absent in the airport and can be varied to a great degree in different towns. Be patient when you come to a cafe. Quite a few cafes put up signs telling customers that they are short of staff, especially in remote areas.

It is a new lesson learned about the concept of space. Maybe it can help add some head space or gather your thoughts in a less busy life.

English articles

Seeking Kiwi-Asian Cuisines

experiencetoday

Thai cuisine is very popular in New Zealand and can be super spicy. Restaurants’ menus tend to be quite small. A simple range of starters and stir-fry dishes are offered. I cannot find any Thai desserts or vegetables. The dishes are prepared with local ingredients and tailored to the strong Kiwi palate.

I found Malaysian satay at a fast food joint. The choice of dishes is simple and is what I was looking for in Asian food. 

The Korean offerings seem more authentic. My friend and I visited a family-run restaurant in the Asian area of Christchurch. I love the starters these restaurants serve with lots of vegetables. The Korean stone pot rice bowl was hot and yummy, but the rice could be a bit crispier from the heat. The beef stew tasted fantastic. 

Most Chinese restaurants serve a mix of Sichuan, Guangdong, and Shanghai dishes. Some combine them with Western dishes to appeal to less adventurous customers. I am a bit confused by the fried noodles, which are not the typical thick Shanghai noodles. The HK-style egg tarts are tasty but should be called Portuguese egg tarts.

I love the fact that many Kiwis love rice. Although lunch can be quite boring with the choice of sandwiches and salads most days, you can explore some other options if your office is downtown. If you live abroad, be sure to pick up some cooking skills. Then you can always enjoy more ethnic food. 

Chinese articles

窺視

experiencetoday

什麼是窺視？多年前，社會曾經探討辦公室裝上隱藏式閉路電視，引起公眾的談論。現代社會文明的轉化，人肉窺視，並不罕見，工作的一舉一動都可以給人雞蛋裏挑骨頭，而收發的電郵亦被窺視，感覺有如年少時給爸爸媽媽監視一樣。

公眾wifi ，又是否存在這個私隱問題。大家的包容性似乎開放了不少，使用app亦被收集了很多資料，只不過坦誠地告訴同事CCTV的位置，app收集的內容，人會感到尊重多一點，也會多加留意，就正如收發電郵的處理一樣。畢竟每個人在社會和工作上有不同角色，都希望得到一份尊重和信任。

十分感恩地看到現代舞台全新的面貎，學習這個全新台階上每一步都要形形翼翼地小心而行。也欣賞別人高深莫測的計劃。台上演員一唱一和，十分精彩，期待下一場好戲。

現代情愛多了一份猜疑，手機內的內容都是另一半的好奇。手機可能比陪伴更有趣？是否值得深思？

English articles

Alfresco Dining

experiencetoday

In the morning and at night, the temperature is below 10°C in New Zealand, while it is hot like summer at 26°C in the afternoon. The wind direction affects how we feel about the actual temperature. The forecast said 17°C, but I was wrapped head to toe in winter clothes on this summer day.


The sun is always so bright that sunglasses have become essential. If you dip your feet in the water on the beach, it is not so bad, but the further you go towards the sea, the colder it gets, and the waves get bigger.

In late spring, the temperature is usually perfect for sitting outdoors for a coffee and a meal. Find a beautiful lake, a farm overlooking snowy mountains, a beach, a pier, or a park to lie down and stretch those aching muscles. Bring some chairs to your favourite garden, sit down with a friend and have a bite of good sandwiches, apples, and cheese in the open air.


I enjoy the luxury of being so close to nature on my travels. It is a simple pleasure of not doing much in a day when you are with someone you enjoy spending time.

Check out amazing photos of the Kiwi food here, and enjoy more wonderful pictures in my photobook corner.

cows, new zealand
English articles

Agricultural Show

experiencetoday

The agriculture show resumed to Christchurch, New Zealand after having a break for two years. This show has put a lot of emphasis on sustainability with its online advertising. Nevertheless, plastic cups and plates are still in use, the organiser claimed that they sourced local and climate-friendly partners, used recycled and decomposted materials as much as possible, and of course, donated useful items to the community after the show.

I’m glad to learn that the show organiser tells the audience what they are committed to do to protect the environment. 

churro

I absolutely love saying hello to various breeds of sheep, cattle, and horses at the show. The food stalls were of great variety and good quality. The selection was excellent throughout the day. There were many fun competitions, such as gumboot throwing, wood chopping, and educational stalls on recycling aimed at families and serious workers.
I hope there will be more shuttle buses and signage in the future.

New Zealanders seem to be proud of the qualify of animals. Will that affect people’s diet choices? Will Kiwis be hesitated to become a vegetarian or vegan because of their agricultural heritage?

Check out more amazing photos of the Agricultural Show here, and enjoy other wonderful pictures in my photobook corner.

English articles

New Zealand gardens

experiencetoday

The Botanic Garden in Christchurch is nothing like the gardens in Asia. The vast space, the debris on the ground, vivid colours of flowers, and giant cabbage trees are some of its distant features. It’s like a wild soul being open to imperfections. Peaceful. Calm. Nothing is in harmony, but a diversity of plants is mixed but not matched. Flowers of different colours are arranged so close to each other that they are trying so hard to stand out among their “competitors”.  Plants are sculptured and well-arranged with a perfect balance of leaves, petals, and trees in Asian gardens. New Zealand gardens are not manicured in this way at all.

My friend told me he found the beauty of dead roses. This belief is definitely shared by many kiwis. New Zealand gardens are not meant to look perfect and can be full of dead leaves or withering flowers.

Now I understand why my friend structured his garden not in a “perfect way” like the Japanese garden. It is wild, untamed, disorganised. A bit of sadness with a touch of beauty.

People appreciate the life cycles of plants, just like people grow old and still love each other. The angle of sunlight is also taken into consideration in the design and the irregular placement of plants enables the gardens to be admired from different perspectives.

Check out amazing photos of the Botanic Gardens here, and enjoy more wonderful pictures in my photobook corner.

Chinese articles

多配偶的需要

experiencetoday

二人關係是否容許多一個情人？現代人與人的關係轉化，重視體驗和需要。Netflix 連續劇《You Me Her》便以輕鬆喜劇手法探討多配偶關係。

夫婦多年來的感情隨時間變淡，一位青春無敵的女伴遊給他們一點沖繫。理智地想，丈夫有機會升上校長，妻子是成功的建築師，可以直升為合伙人，大好前程，身住的地區更是傳統中層家庭居住的理想之地，為何要冒這個危險建立三人關係？

妻子從未向另一半透露自己結婚前有數過女朋友，可以相信嗎？

我認為劇集有缺情理，但喜劇歸喜劇，劇情已帶出現代關係的另一種需要，也講出三人關係不單只有性，愛、生活和彼此間的經歷也是如此重要，就算在西方社會，思想較開放，還是遇到不少阻礙和外界不善意的目光。

Netflix的另一生活小品《閨房設計樂》也描述一對前夫婦，與五位男女建立周末共居的關係。每個男女的性格和愛好都有所不同，只是重視性愛體驗，不想受一夫一妻的框架局限自己，也鍾愛周末享受團體生活，不假思索，不用太多安排更可在同一屋下看電影，也開派對。

其實，多年前，《魔登家庭》劇集大熱，不少觀眾都對多配偶的議題感到好奇。鍾於這現代配偶概念的男女就以遠久年代族群共居比喻，彼此扶持的重要性。配偶間的背景、經歷和技能都可以給自己幫助，無論是心靈上、能力上或是簡單的陪伴，都是十分重要的，這正正反映現代人在個體化社會生活其實不時感到孤單，才會引延多配偶的需要，而這些多配偶的關係，以突破一夫多妻或一妻多夫的族群建制，而是男女交叠對外延展的複雜關係。

farm in new zealand
English articles

Look out for rich farmers

experiencetoday

My friend kept giving me useful tips on how to look out for rich farmers in New Zealand. Pay attention to the cars they drive, how many acres of land they own, and very small details. No wonder there is a reality show in Australia where girls compete to win a farmer’s heart. 

I’ve found that farmers in New Zealand are respected as much as other professions. There are a large number of farmers in this country. With the diverse landscape, farming seems to be the jewel of New Zealand. Sheep farming, cattle farming and dairy farming are all  major contributors to the country’s GDP. These farms can be run with specialised technology, so that their yields can be increased without compromising quality.

Kiwis are proud of their local products and like to support local businesses. Australia is their competitor but the two countries remain on friendly terms.

Hong Kong has imported quite a few avocados from Australia. Kiwi avocados are rarely seen, but some top quality free-range organic eggs from New Zealand can be purchased in supermarkets. Recently, we can enjoy frozen Hoki fish from this country. I hope we will have the luck to taste its dairy products in the future.

Chocolate milk, chocolates, and yogurts are not to-be-missed food items when travelling in New Zealand. This chocolate milk has a yummy, rich taste. There are so many brands of yogurt for tasting. 

Chinese articles

圓圈畫共同創作

experiencetoday

星期六下午，一班人合力畫圓圈畫，很是新奇，畫紙由十二張普通A3紙組成，我們十二人，不同背景，但又有著不同的經歷，但都很享受和珍惜這次活動的安排。

部分人很專注著眼前部分的畫紙，研究如何以大陽和笑做題材創作。我就不假思索，圓圈內加了星星和一些禪繞的筆法，很簡單地自由地畫，但也留意著身旁朋友如何畫她們的圓圈，我們笑說有一個似菠蘿，另一個簡單的圓形由別人加了幾筆變成了一朵耀目的太陽花。

大家亦可以自由發揮，不受拘束地為其他人的圓形添加色彩、花紋和圖案。轉眼間，那個圖形可能已變得不一樣，也沒有人介懷別人為您的圓形裝飾，大家開懷地、放心地彼此合作享受一心一意繪畫之餘，也好像認識大家多一點，互相欣賞共同的創作，十二張湊合一起後，造成一張色彩繽紛的畫作，過了一個愉快和充實的下午。有朋友說，畫中亦隱藏了一些公仔，就像我們一樣，有時隱藏在人群中，不要忽視自己的存在，自己的能力、使命和才華。

活動籌辦人也跟大家說，支持大家一起走這段路，很是感動。最後這十二張紙再一次分開了，我們每位帶一張回家，重温開心而富有意義的時光。